SCIENCE SLAM, Oakland Metro Operahouse, 10/29/17

Hosted by Broseph Joe Brody and Kishore Hari

Music by Hoodslam Band, and lots of great help and ideas from Sf and Eastbay Nerd Nite and Bay Area Science Festival!

1. Bill Nye defeated Neil Degrasse Tyson after Pluto interfered and attacked Tyson
2. Nurse Ratchet defeated Pharma-Douche Martain Skarelly with “Princess Die”
3. Orville and Wilbur Wright defeated Jesse Pinkman and Heisenburg with a double airplane spin
4. Rick Sanchez defeated Doc Brown after a run in by the MegaZord cuz fuck you, science
5. Rosalind Franklin defeated James Watson and Francis Crick with the “Double Helix” to win the Nobel Prize Championship Title
6. Bill Nye, Rosalind Franklin, Doc Brown, the Wright Brothers and Neil Degrasse Tyson teamed up to forcefully remove Science Deniers led by Earl and his cousin Earl, also teamed with Pluto
7. Nikola Tesla defeated Thomas Edison in a Faraday Electric Cage match, after throwing Edison in the cage and electrifying him

Thanks Nerd Nite!  Thanks Bay Area Science Festival!  Thanks SCIENCE!

THAT SHIT IS REAL

Hosted by Broseph Joe Brody, music by Mary Jane Lawless and the Hoodslam band

Bloodslam is an annual theatrical production, this year saw three acts interwoven between Halloween/horror themed matches

1. Brittany the grey haired Vampire Slayer (with Grey haired Spike for some reason) defeated Count Chocula after attacking him with a metal spoon.  Since it wasn’t wood, he got up and bit Brittany after the match.

ACT 1:

DARK Sheik emerged through a portal, expecting to be in the year 2099.  He had been sent by Doc Atrocity to learn the secrets of the future, but his time portal was faulty and instead he was sent sideways to a different dimension.  He was soon arrested by local authorities who were reporting on the loud flash and disturbance cause by his entering of this realm.

Detective Dick Shoulders Lucido and Officer Ray and Officer Traylor apprehended DARK Sheik

end act –

2. Virgil Flynn III and Bat Manuel defeated Faces of Fear Zodiac and Taskmaster

ACT 2:

DARK Sheik was brought to this realms Head of Medicine, a  Dr Atticus Rocity, who explained to DARK Sheik that he was not in the future, but a sideways split.  DARK Sheik, being twice dead but still on the plane of the living, contained a special element within him that no longer existed in this reality.  A flashback match went on to reveal

3. Juice Lee defeated Death by ripping Death’s heart out

After defeating all living challengers, Juice Lee looked beyond.  He eventually faced Death itself, and became victorious.  His victory led to an earth filled with immortal denizens.  Over time, he was named Pope of an overseeing one world government.  Dr. Atticus saw DARK Sheik, and the death within him, as the key to breaking the never ending cycle of life.  He intended to torturously drain the death force from him, to return it to this existence.  Detective Lucido, overhearing this plan, confronted Dr. Atticus

4. Detective Lucido defeated Dr. Atticus

Lucido would then free the DARK Sheik from captivity, who would return the favor with a superkick before absconding.

end act

5.  Scarecrow from INJUSTICE 2 defeated Leatherface, Zombie Mime Jean Pierre and Pogo the Clown in a Fatal Four Way

ACT 3

Detective Lucido followed DARK Sheik to a bar, where he went to watch wrestling.  Lucido explained he helped him because what was to happen was unfair to DARK Sheik, and he thinks the opportunity to do good exists in life.  DARK Sheik said he was a creature who consumed, he didn’t provide, and his subsided primarily on competition.  But in a world he didn’t belong in, he had no fight TO fight.

Shortly, he would get into an argument with karaoke singer Ronnie Butabi, which Detective Lucido would try to break up.  They would all be interrupted by Dr Atticus and Officer Ray and Officer Traylor, who deemed Sheik a wanted suspect, Detective Lucido a traitorous vigilante Ronnie Butabi guilty by association.

6. DARK Sheik, Detective Lucido and Ronnie Butabi defeated Dr Atticus, Officer Ray and Officer Traylor

Super Pope Juice Lee the Redeemer would emerge, with deaths heart in glass display case

7. DARK Sheik defeats Super Pope Juice Lee the Redeemer with a Shia Crescent

After debilitating Super Pope Juice Lee the Redeemer for the briefest of moments, DARK Sheik grabbed the glass display with deaths heart and smashed it.  This caused the reality to black out, and all living beings to die.  All in the universe walked towards the light, leaving the already twice dead DARK Sheik alone in the now empty universe.

end act –

8. Anthony Butabi defeated Brutal Rob Hands with a superplex off a ladder through a table with a barbwire board and hot takis on it to become the new Best Athlete in the East Bay Golden Fannypack Champion

At District30 on K Street in downtown capital city of Sac tho

Hosted by Broseph Joe Brody, music by the Hoodslam Band, tonight was HORRORSLAM

1. Hip Hop Harry defeated Fucking Obese Nerdy Gamer FONG
2. Virgil Flynn III defeated Jesus Kruze and “Broken” Brittany Wonder with a 450 splash
3. Nurse Ratchet defeated Joey Smoak with “Princess Die”
4. Pogo the Clown and Chucky defeated Big B and Manny Faberino
5. Funnybone defeated El Chupacabra, Zombie Mime Jean Pierre and Richard  Shhhnary in a Fatal Fourway with a doublestomp
6. The Stoner Brothers defeated Ken Masters and Zangev Darevko to retain the Intergalactic Tag Team Championship
7. Super Beast defeated Killmeister in a 4 corners Strap Match

we’re back 11/20/17, FTF!

Oakland Metro Operahouse

Stoner U Pre Show –

Commentary by Screaming Eagle Mike O Shea and Scott Rickerson, Ring Announcer Sean Michaels Allen

1. Super Beast defeated Hip Hop Harry at wrestling
2. Drugz Bunny defeated Referee Guido in the Sing of the Ring Karaoke Fighters Tournament

Hoodslam –

Commentary by Broseph Joe Brody and Johnny Drinko Butabi, Music by The Hoodslam Band

Johnny Drinko was brought to the ring after introductions, as he is the host of Fuck the Fans 8 after winning the 2017 Battle Royal of Supremacy.  However, after losing a three way dance to Glorious Banana and Drugz Bunny, Banana got a shot at the Golden Gig, and Drinko was not allowed to despite having the joy of booking responsibility.  He announced that as revenge, he brought someone to punish Drugz Bunny.

• Super Barrio Brother Jesus Kruze defeated Drugz Bunny with a roll up after a distraction from Johnny Drinko Butabi

Johnny Drinko stated that he was gonna throw his brother a bone, and give him a shot at the Best Athlete in the East Bay while he was in power.  The crowd chanted “NE-PO-TIS-IM”.

• Brutal Rob Hands defeated Anthony “Party Manster” Butabi after Coach Joey Nuggs interfered to retain the Best Athlete in the East Bay Golden Fanny Packs
• Pissed off Nerdy Gamer PONG defeated Glorious Banana with a sleeper hold to retain the Golden Gig Championship

When PONG would not release the sleeperhold, Drugz Bunny made his way to the ring and cashed in his CM Punk Memorial Trophy for any match with anyone at any time to fight PONG for the Golden Gig Championship.

• PONG defeated Drugz Bunny by pinfall to retain the Golden Gig Championship after Drugz Bunny snorted what he thought was cocaine, but was in fact a different substance switched out by FONG.  This caused a negative reaction to Drugz Bunny, allowing PONG to secure the win.
• Hip Hop Harry won the 30 entity Rumble of Ranking Ramifications last eliminating Super Beast.  Participants included, but not in order:

1. Johnny Drinko Butabi
2. Hobbes
3. BatManuel
4. CerealMan
5. Chupacabra
6. Doc Atrocity
7. Brittany Wonder
8. Nurse Ratchet
9. Virgil Flynn III
10. Joey Ryan
11. Ryu
12. Ken Masters
13. Anton Voorhees
14. Ean Hancement
15. Scott Rick Stoner
16. Rick Scott Stoner
17. Jesus Kruze
18. Brutal Rob Hands
19. Coach Joey Nuggs
20. Zangev Darevko
21. Super Beast
22. Richard Shhhnary
23. Berkeley Brawler
24. Manny Faberino
25. Steve Tresario
26. Cal Jack
27. Hip Hop Harry
28. Anthony Butabi
29. FONG
30. James C

You can watch the whole show FREE on TWITCH at: https://www.twitch.tv/videos/180313443

Music by The Hoodslam Band

Commentary by Broseph Joe Brody (and in spirit Wonder Dave)

1. Brittany Wonder defeated Manny Faberino after a low blow.
2. Nurse Ratchet defeated Berkeley Brawler with “Princess Die”
3. The Stoner Brothers Scott Rick and Rick Scott Stoner defended the Intergalactic Tag Team Championship against the teams of Calvin and Hobbes and Carmen San Diego/Where’s Waldo when they hit Carmen San Diego with the “Rizz Bomb”
4. Coach Joey Nuggs and Brutal Rob Hands defended the Best Athlete in the East Bay Golden Fannypacks against Shotzi Blackheart
5. Richard Shhhnary defeated Silent Assassin Jean Pierre in a Sanctum of Silence Match
6. MegaZord defeated Elvira, Xena, Anton Voorhees, BatManuel and Cornelius in a SyxxPac Challenge after he pinned Xena with a big Leg Drop
7. Glorious Banana defeated Johnny Drinko Butabi and Drugz Bunny when he pinned Drinko with an Oklahoma roll.  Because of a prematch stipulation, Banana gets a shot at PONG for the Golden Gig at Fuck the Fans 8, and Drinko does not.  Had Drugz Bunny won, he would be immune from Johnny Drinko Butabi’s booking at FTF8.  Had Johnny Drinko won, Drugz Bunny would not be allowed to cash in his CM Punk Memorial Trophy at FTF8.  None of that happened, and Drinko can book Drugz in bullshit, Drugz can still cash in anytime, anywhere, against any Hoodslammer, and has stated he WILL cash in at FTF8 to fight for the Golden Gig.

Watch it on twitch, it was amaaaazeballs.

Hoodslam was thrilled to be back at Folsom Street Fair!  Thousands filled the streets to witness burlesque, wrestling, a whole lot of flesh, mostly wang, but all genders on the rainbow ever present and friendly and kinda nude.  We did three sets from noon to five, here’s our results!

All matches had Commentary and kinda music by Broseph Joe Brody and refereed by WIGGLES

1. Richard Shhhnary defeated Shotzi Blackheart
2. The Stoner Brothers Scott Rick and Rick Scott Stoner defeated the Dual Citizens Manny Faberino and Khan Abadi to retain the Intergalactic Tag Team Championship
3. Coach Joey Nuggs defeated Johnya Harding to retain the Best Athlete in the East Bay Golden Fannypacks
4. Brutal Rob Hands defeated Big B and PBJ Banana to retain the Best Athlete in the East Bay Golden Fannypacks

set TWOOOOOO:

1. Big B defeated Johnya Harding and Richard Shhhnary
2. Funnybone defeated Manny Faberino
3. Shotzi Black Heart/Alice in Wonderland/Green Man portraying China defeated The Stoner Brothers and Ean Hancement
4. Coach Joey Nuggs defeated Pooh Jack to retain the Best Athlete in the East Bay Golden Fannypacks

set THREE:

1. Black Widow/The Stoner Brothers/Ean Hancement/Coach Joey Nuggs defeated Richard Shhhnary/Manny Faberino/Johny Harding/Hobbes/Mega Zord in a Survivor Series Elimination Match
2. Brutal Rob Hands defeated Pooh Jack to retain the Best Athlete in the East Bay Golden Fannypacks

Music by the Hoodslam band, Commentary by Broseph Joe Brody, drinks from District 30 Nightclub !

1. Zangev Darevko defeated Manny Faberino with a piledriver
2. Virgil Flynn III defeated Scott Rick Stoner after Ken Masters interfered
3. Ken Masters defeated Rick Scott Stoner after Zangev Darevko interfered

FONG came to the ring, and stated that 10/6/17 event “Fuck The Fans 8” in Oakland would be PONG’s one year anniversary as Golden Gig Champion.  He said he’s aware that Drugz Bunny has been patient with his CM Punk Memorial Trophy – which allows him any match with any Hoodslammer at any event – but knows he’s going to cash it in against PONG for the GIG at FTF8.  He wants Drugz to know that when he does, FONG will be waiting for him.

4. Nurse Ratchet and SuperBeast defeated Brittany Wonder and Killmeister after Killmeister left the ring

Manny Faberino came to the ring and spoke about his teenage depression.  Big B appeared, and told Manny that things get better and dreams come true, and to prove it, he would win the Best Athlete in the East Bay from Brutal Rob or Coach Joey Nuggs, the New U.  The New U said they accept the challenge, but as a handicap match.

5. New U defeated Big B to retain the Best Athlete in the East Bay Golden Fannypacks

6. Richard Shhhnary defeated Referee Guido in a Sanctum of Silence Match

7. Drugz Bunny defeated FONG

Go to our Instagram and see clips of ALL OUR SHOWS LIVE pretty much

https://www.instagram.com/p/BZNlb6tFFQp/

The Hoodslam Band played, including members Tiny Brian and Donkey Show and MJ Lawless for this special occasion.

Commentary was done in “Commentary Roulette” style, so it changed every match.  It included: MJ Lawless and drummer Screaming Eagle Mike OShea, Berkeley Brawler and Richard Shhhnary, Johnny Drinko Butabi, Anton Voorhees, Manny Faberino, Scott Rick Stoner, Big B, Donkey Show and Broseph Joe Brody.

1. Drugz Bunny defeated Berkeley Brawler
2. The Stoner Brothers Scott Rick and Rick  Scott Stoner defeated Hayward Heat Steve Tresario and Big B to retain the Intergalactic  Tag Team Championship
3. Coach Joey Nuggs defeated Cal Jack to retain the Best Athlete in the East Bay Golden Fannypacks
4. Funnybone and Nurse Ratchet defeated El Chupacabra and Brittany Wonder
5. Anton Voorhees defeated Richard Shhhnary
6. Brutal Rob Hands defeated Anthony Butabi, Zangev Darevko and Manny Faberino in a Fatal Fourway to retain the Best Athlete in the East Bay Golden Fannypacks
7. Johnny Drinko Butabi defeated Batmanuel in a “Double or Nothing bar tab match”

Broseph Joe Brody and the Hoodslam Band hosted this bodacious event at the Oakland Metro Operahouse, go watch it free on our twitch…

Stoner U Pre Show –

Batmanuel defeated Shawn Michaels Allen in the Sing of the Ring Opening Round Match with “Ducktales”  (wooo woo)

The Caution (caution) addressed the crowd, stating that they had to publicly let go of the past before they could move on to their future.  They played a lengthy film titled “The Wake of DARK Sheik”, and finally said goodbye to their former partner.

SuperBeast defeated Manny Faberino, at wrestling.

Hoodslam proper:

Johnny Drinko Butabi kicked us off, stating that after winning the Battle Royal of Supremacy last month that he would use his prize of booking Octobers “Fuck the Fans 8” event to his benefit – planning a match with himself vs Golden Gig Champion PONG.  He quickly turned his attention to Drugz Bunny, though, the man/rabbit who holds the CM Punk Memorial Trophy, allowing him a shot at any hoodslammer at any event in any match.  Knowing that this would be an opportune moment for Drugz to cash in, Drinko wanted to make sure he knew he had his eye on him.   Drugz would let Drinko know he knows by coming to the ring for a match.

• Drugz Bunny defeated Johnny Drinko Butabi after a distraction by The Peanut Butter Jelly Banana, who’s apparently pretty sore about being the last one eliminated by Drinko in last months Battle Royal of Supremacy.
• The CAUTION (caution) – Ean Hancement and Anton Voorhees vs Shotokan Dojo – Ryu and Ken Masters best of 5 series finale never happened.  Both teams fought before the bell, Referee Wiggles declared it too chaotic and threw the match out, both teams continued to fight, and finally the Intergalactic Tag Team Champions the Stoner Brothers would attack all 4 men and declare their tag team dominance.
• Virgil Flynn III/Batmanuel/Nurse Ratchet defeated El Chupacabra/Brittany Wonder/FONG (replacing Cereal Man who refused to fight with Batmanuel or team with Brittany Wonder) after Nurse Ratchet stabbed El Chupacabra with a syringe and stole his blood.
• Rick Scott Stoner defeated Joey Ryan after interference from Scott Rick Stoner.  Joey had come to challenge for the Intergalactic Tag Team Championship, but the Stoners did not accept Joey’s statement that his partner was his dick.
• Golden Gig Champion PONG defeated Sinn Bodhi after getting help from his partner in Team Game Over, FONG.  He stated that next month would be his one year anniversary as champion, and fuck you.  Sorta.  I’m paraphrasing.
• Peanut Butter Jelly Banana defeated James C, Cody Devine, Zangev Darevko, Doc Atrocity and Anthony Butabi in a six entity free for all

Best Athletes in the East Bay Coach Joey Nuggs and Brutal Rob Hands issued an open challenge for their Golden Fannypacks

• Coach Joey Nuggs defeated Hip Hop Harry to retain the Golden Fannypacks after Brutal Rob Hands attacked Harry with his own crutches at the opening bell

They would then issue another challenge, resulting in Scott Rick Stoner answering the call

• Brutal Rob Hands defeated Scott Rick Stoner to retain the Golden Fannypacks after Coach Joey Nuggs, Rick Scott Stoner, Ryu, Ken, Ean Hancement and Anton Voorhees interfered

we’re back in Oakland for fuck the fans 8 first Friday in October, and also bloodslam 10/20.  Go, or watch on twitch.  Thanks!

Commentary by Broseph Joe Brody, unplugged music by the Hoodslam band!  As usual, all winners are given an opportunity to remove the Corn Sword from the Stone.  Only the one who is successful will be noted.

The cable under the ring broke.  We went and bought a new one.  In the mean time, Freddy Yip won the first ever open invitational fan fest promo fucktacular, defeating… wiggles?

• Drugz Bunny defeated Big B
• Coach Joey Nuggs defeat Joey Smoak to defend the Best Athlete in the East Bay Golden Fannypacks

Manny Faberino addressed the crowd, saying he was banned from last Knightsen event for not following the stipulation of the match he lost on the first one this summer – if he were to be locked in the U-Haul by Steve the Cock Fighter, he would have to grow a mustache, despite already having one.  This month, he had two and was allowed to participate.

• Link to the Future Anton Voorhees defeated Manny Faberino – Before Anton was given his opportunity to remove the CornSword from the Stone, Manny Faberino attacked him and attempted to unfairly get a free try and the sword.  He was rebuked by Anton Voorhees and Broseph Joe Brody, who locked him in the U-Haul again.
• Peanut Butter Jelly Banana defeated Nurse Ratchet
• Ultra Girl Brittany Wonder defeated Draggin'”The Super Dragon” Dragon.  Its what he wanted to be called.

Best Athlete in the East Bay Brutal Rob Hands said that he would now remove the Corn Sword unopposed, as all participants had performed in the night already.  Just then, the door of the U-Haul opened, and Manny Faberino emereged – however, he had changed into a giant corn.  He claimed to be possessed by the spirit of Cornelius, who came from a dimension of corn people who had a tournament to remove a people sword.  It’s end was the demise of his universe, and he vowed to stop it from happening again.

• Cornelius defeated Brutal Rob Hands in a match NOT for the Best Athlete in the East Bay Golden Fannypacks

Cornelius felt the Corn Sword call to him, and he knew that as long as it stood “…men and women like [Brutal Rob Hands] would attempt to usurp its evil power…”.  Cornelius then SUCCEEDED in removing the Corn Sword from the stone, to witch the crowd erupted into chants of “CORN” – no really.  Cornelius then declared that the felt the Corn Sword begin to taint him, and admitted that it was he who removed the people sword and doomed his universe.  He went on to state that he knew now what must be done, and rejected the corn sword, and stood in its place atop the stone, petrifying into a corn person statue before finally expunging the body of Manny Faberino back to his own consciousness.

Thank you for your sacrifice, Cornelius.