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ARNOCORPS RETURNS 3/3

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So good, that on 3/3 we do it a third time! Miss last two years events and don’t know how BALLSY it is? STUPID LUCKY YOU; here’s a highlight reel on our super awesome way subscribable youtube page-o-rama to catch you up! Oh yeah, tickets are available on eventbright yester-NOW. EXACTLY!

Both of these FULL EVENTS are available on the 1.99 a month all the Hoodslam all the time Hoodslammery page (linked on our sidebar), which also gives you the live stream of our event’s for like the cost of a bag of chips.  We fuck the fans, but we’re a cheap fuck.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FEMMED OUT RESULTS

Results.

 

Hoodslam: Femmed Out (night one)

 

Friday, February 3, 2017

Oakland Metro Opera House

Oakland, CA

Sold Out attendance

 

Tonight’s musical guest was Rupballs of Fury.

 

Live commentary by “Broseph” Joe Brody as “TinkerBro”

 

1. Best Athlete in the East Bay Golden Fannypacks: “The LINK to the Future” Anton Voorhees def. Pizza Cat to become the new Best Athlete in the East Bay. Immediately following the match, Johnny “Drinko” Butabi stole the Golden Fannypacks.

 

2. Mama (from “Mama’s Family”) def. Madea

 

3. Handicap match: James C. and JUICED Lee def. “The Fuckin’ Machine” Brian Cage.

 

4. Golden Gig: Pissed Off Nerdy Gamer (P.O.N.G.) def. Cereal Man to retain the Golden Gig, thanks to interference from Fucking Obese Nerdy Gamer (F.O.N.G.).

 

Special performance by The Cat Sweet.

 

5. Tag team match: Black Widow and Carmen Sandiego def. Scary Spice and Posh Spice of the Spice Girls.

 

6. Six-entity tag team match: Smokin’ Hot Boobs and Jessica Rabbit Scorpion def. Ginger Spice, Baby Spice, and Sporty Spice of the Spice Girls.

 

7. Brittany Wonder def. “The Pumpkin Queen” Sage Sin Supreme.

 

Results:

 

Hoodslam: Femmed Out (night two)

 

Saturday, February 4, 2017

Oakland Metro Opera House

Oakland, CA

 

Tonight’s musical guest was Femme C. Hammer.

 

Live commentary by “Broseph” Joe Brody and Wonder Dave.

 

1. Tag team match: Star Lord and Gamora (from “Guardians of the Galaxy) def. Boob-tista.

 

2. G.I. Jane def. Mama (from Mama’s Family).

 

Drugz Bunny announced that he will be at Hoodslam and ArnoCorps present Get Your Ass to March III on Friday, March 3, and will make his in-ring return at EnterTania VII on Friday, April 7.

 

3. Five-Corner Match: Brittany Spears def. Shakira, Aaliyah, Lady Gaga and Marilyn Monroe.

 

Special poetry performance by Wonder Dave paying tribute to Chyna.

 

4. Daria def. Mary Katherine Gallagher.

 

5. Scorpion Cammy def. Mileena.

 

6. Brittany Wonder and Sin Voorhees def. Shelly “Duffman” Martinez and Pizza Cat.

 

Got pics or vids from the show? Post them with #hoodslam

 

You can watch a live stream of every first Friday show, and get every Hoodslam ever recorded on-demand, by subscribing to the Hoodslam YouTube channel for $1.99/month (includes free two week trial). Search “Hoodslammery” on YouTube.

 

Hoodslam runs at the Oakland Metro Opera House every first Friday of the month and will return on Friday, March 3 when Hoodslam and ArnoCorp present Get Your Ass to March III. Tickets available now: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/hoodslam-presents-get-your-ass-to-march-tickets-31764772289

 

Follow Hoodslam on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube, all @hoodslam.

 

Hoodslam is a 21+ event. DON’T BRING YOUR FUCKING KIDS!

 

www.BirdsWillFall.com

 

The why of Femmed Out

It dawns on us that not all may be familiar with our annual celebration of femininity, and the reasons behind it. It is no simple answer, but let us do our best to elaborate on the why.

 

In wrestling, traditions go a long way. Not every tradition, however, should go indefinitely. Any story done right is worth telling, and there are always exceptions, but some old stories are best left in the past.

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The all female Oinga Boinga at the 2015 Femmed Out, the first band to play our event excluding The Hoodslam Band

One tradition that perplexed us was the treatment of women as a lesser, perhaps even a commodity. “If I beat you your girl has to accompany me to the ring for one month” or “when i win against YOU, i get to go on a date with HER”, and so on. Women were important to have, upsetting to lose, but not worth as much as a title belt.

 

Another that has popped up over the decades and across the world,”Loser Wears A Dress”. How embarrassing it must be to be perceived as feminine. What a loser, to wear the same clothes as half the population.

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DARK Sheik as Xena, 2015

Brittany Wonder, long time member of the roster and cosplay enthusiast, started to wear a Deadpool inspired attire in 2014. The sight of this “crossplay” triggered something; it occured to a member of our roster that in all of Hoodslams 80s night’s, video game theme’s, cartoon shows, horror shows, etc no male had ever performed as female. In fact, nowhere in wrestling was this a common phenomenon.

Brittany Wonder in "deadpool" inspired attire, 2014

Brittany Wonder in “deadpool” inspired attire, 2014

Was it fear? Wrestlers are sensitive performer types, but is the same person who dives into tacks afraid of some lace? Are those who bleed for money terrified someone might think they’re pretty? Are they afraid they might be treated how they may have treated our sisters in the locker room?

Johnny Drinko as Shakira, 2015

Johnny Drinko as Shakira, 2016

Maybe its just not for their audience. We think ours can handle it. In fact, every year its been a sold out event, turning hundreds away.

So, noticing that women were half the attendees, noticing that women had as strong characters as men, noticing that different genders might want to attend in womens clothing and they should all feel proud and secure to do so…we put on make up and skirts,  and put on a show.

Doc Atrocity getting "Carrie'd" by the roster, 2015

Doc Atrocity getting “Carrie’d” by the roster, 2015

You might think its because women have been so proud lately. Or, because we live in the lgbt light house that is the bay area of California. Or, you think we’re a funny group who like girls clothing.  None of it is entirely untrue…To us, its just about fairness. Women pay the same  $20 as any man there, and deserve the same respect from their art.

 

Is this going to be any less of a stoned sweaty loud kinetic whiskey induced beautiful nightmare than any other event? Fuck no, we’ll just spend (way) more time on make up and (way) more money on costumes.

– (We’ve made the event two unique nights this year,2/3 & 2/4 so that nobody will be turned away, and all can join in the fun.)

 

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Two Matches for Friday Announced!

Its true!  Fridays Femmed Out is just the beginning of our celebration of the female presentation, and Saturday we dive all into glittery pink goodness. Hark, lo, and behold two battles destined for February 3rds Opening Festivity

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In a return match of sorts, The Caution will take on NEW Best Athlete in the Eastbay PizzaCat. It shall not, however, be a team battle – as 3/3rds of The Caution would no doubt prefer. Instead, “Link to the Future” Anton Voorhees shall represent his clique, being the most accustom to solo combat.

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After winning Fatal Four Way Number One Contendership Match on January 6th, Cereal Man was promised the opportunity to challenge for our fairest of prizes, The Golden Gig.  PONG, our current Holder of The Golden Gig, has accepted, but with a twist: At Femmed Out, both competitors will be Blindfolded!  For though PONG is wrathful, he considers himself just, and trusts the blind hands that guide his fate.

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January 6th “FIN” Results

Hoodslam: FIN

 

Friday, January 6, 2017

Oakland Metro Opera House

Oakland, CA

Sold Out Attendance

 

Live commentary by “Broseph” Joe Brody and the Golden Gig champion Pissed Off Nerdy Gamer (P.O.N.G.)

 

1. Brittany Wonder (with Doc Atrocity) def. “The Girl-Power Powerhouse” Heather Monroe.

 

2. Handicap match: “The Fuckin’ Machine” Brian Cage def. James C. and a cardboard cutout of JUICE Lee.

 

3. Fatal Four-Way Clusterfuck Match to determine the number one contender for the Golden Gig: Cereal Man def. “The King of Dong Style” Joey Ryan, Doc Atrocity (with Brittany Wonder), and Johnny “Drinko” Butabi to become the number one contender for P.O.N.G.’s Golden Gig.

 

– An injured Drugz Bunny announced that he will make his in-ring return at Hoodslam’s biggest show of the year, EnterTania on Friday, April 7.

 

5. Triple-Threat Tag Team match for the Intergalactic Tag Team Championship: The Stoner Brothers (Rick-Scott Stoner and Scott-Rick Stoner) def. Virgil Flynn III & “The Mexican Werewolf” El Chupacabra, and Ken & Ryu to become the new Intergalactic Tag Team Champions.

 

6. Best Athlete in the East Bay Golden Fannypacks: The New U (Pizza Cat, “Brutal” Rob Hands, and Coach Joey Nuggs) def. The CAUTION! (DARK Sheik, “The Talent” Ean Hancement and “The LINK to the Future” Anton Voorhess) to become the new Best Athletes in the East Bay. The New U awarded Pizza Cat both Fannypacks after the match.

 

The Aliens (Ambassador Drucilla and Troof & Conundrum) came out to warn everyone that the Walking Phoenix had arrived. The Walking Phoenix made its way to the ring, decimating everything in its path using its sheer strength and its mind control. Doc Atrocity revealed that he had constructed an inter-dimensional portal, and summoned the Dale Mehl and his Daleians from the BLOODSLAM universe. Already under impenetrable mind control, the Daleians overpowered the Walking Phoenix, and took it back to the BLOODSLAM universe. So, pretty much, Doc Atrocity saved Hoodslam.

 

Got pics or vids from the show? Post them with #hoodslam

 

You can watch a live stream of every first Friday show, and get every Hoodslam ever recorded on-demand, by subscribing to the Hoodslam YouTube channel for $1.99/month (includes free two week trial). Search “Hoodslammery” on YouTube.

 

Hoodslam runs at the Oakland Metro Opera House every first Friday of the month and will return on Friday, February 3 AND Saturday, February 4 for our annual drag show, FEMMED OUT. Tickets available now: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/hoodslam-presents-femmed-out-tickets-30971819546?aff=eiosprexshresmsx&ref=eiosprexshresmsx

 

Follow Hoodslam on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube, all @hoodslam.

 

Hoodslam is a 21+ event. DON’T BRING YOUR FUCKING KIDS!

 

www.BirdsWillFall.com

Will Wrestle For Food

It was a good first Friday for the two Hoodslammers featured in this article.

 

Cereal Man became the number one contender for Pissed Off Nerdy Gamer’s Golden Gig.

 

And, after the New U handed The CAUTION (Caution!) their first-ever defeat when all three thirds are in a match, Coach Joey Nuggs and “Brutal” Rob Hands handed the Best Athlete in the East Bay Golden Fannypacks to Pizza Cat (formerly Shotzi Blackheart).

 

Never underestimate the power of a balanced breakfast. Or, the power of pizza.

 

Fight Booth dives deeper…

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“Will Work For Food!” Five Wrestlers with Food Based Gimmicks You Will Love

 

#Hoodslam

The End is Nigh (and Fri…day)

The official notice has been given…

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Ambassador to the Galaxy Drucilla, along with Troof & Conundrum arrived in Hoodslam June 2016 with a simple task – to retrieve the Intergalactic Tag Team Champions. The tag champions HAD traveled to Hoodslam – albeit 5 years ago in late 2011 when they confronted a budding genesplicer named Doc Atrocity and his companion Zombie Vinny Butabi; This would be the untimely demise of the former Intergalactic Tag Team Champions.

 

Drucilla demanded new champions be crowned, and a tournament was hastily arranged. 10 teams would be put into two groups of 5. The groups battled in Round Robin competition, and whoever could get the most wins within their group would fight the winner of the other group.  The winner of that would be the new Intergalactic Tag Team Champions.

 

Not many asked questions, and the Top of the SkyDreamers Miracle eXstacy Cup returned: This time Double Chaos Redondo of Blood.  Block A had The Caution, New U, James and Juice Lee, West Side Playas 2099 and winners Ryu and Ken. Block 1 had Doc Atrocity and Brittany Wonder, The Knights of the Roxbury, Aliens Troof and Conundrum, The Stoner Brothers and winners El Chupacabra and Virgil Flynn III.

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El Chupacabra and Virgil Flynn III would win the entire tournament and claim the vacant championship, but only now could the real battle begin.

 

It was revealed that the tournament- and more specifically the Champions – had a purpose. Ambassador Drucilla explained that the Champions, and generations of champions before that, stood as a last defense against an ancient destroyer – The Walking Phoenix.

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The Walking Phoenix: immortal, immune to weaponry, immune to persuasion, capable of controlling minds and matter. A moving doomsday device, neither good nor evil, driven by consumption.  Unfathomable, it’s trajectory pointed to Earth.  And so, for the first time ever, the chosen guardians of our reality will face their destiny, and global damnation in The Walking Phoenix.

 

What began as a tournament may have instead been a going away party.

 

January 6th, Hoodslam “FIN”

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/hoodslam-presents-fin-tickets-30019775958