HoodFigher Tournament Results!

Hoodslam: Hoodfigher Tournament
dive(photo by Bear Z Bub)


Friday, December 2, 2016
Oakland Metro Opera House
Oakland, CA
Paid attendance: 910

Live commentary by “Broseph” Joe Brody and Doc Atrocity.

1. Hoodfigher Tournament opening round match: “The King of Sleaze” Joey Ryan def. Nurse Ratchet.

2. Hoodfigher Tournament opening round match: “The Warlord of Weird” Sinn Bodhi def. Cereal Man.

3. Hoodfigher Tournament opening round match: Pizza Cat (formerly known as Shotzi Blackheart, with “Brutal” Rob Hands and Coach Joey Nuggs) def. “The Russian Lover” Zangev, who announced his retirement from Hoodslam after the match.

4. Hoodfigher Tournament opening round match: Drugz Bunny def. “The Fuckin’ Machine” Brian Cage.

5. Four-Corners Sudden Death Match for the Best Athlete in the East Bay Golden Fannypacks OR the Intergalactic Tag Team Championships (titles only change hands if champions lose the fall): “The Mexican Werewolf” El Chupacabra and Virgil Flynn III (Intergalactic Tag Team champions) def. James. C and a cardboard cutout of JUICE Lee, Ken & Ryu, and The CAUTION (DARK Sheik, and “The Talent” Ean Hancement, with “The Link to the Future” Anton Voorhees). The CAUTION retained the Best Athlete in the East Bay Golden Fannypacks, as they were not involved in the decision.

6. Hoodfigher Tournament semi-finals match: Pizza Cat def. “The Warlord of Weird” Sinn Bodhi.

7. Hoodfigher Tournament semi-finals match: “The King of Sleaze” Joey Ryan def. Drugz Bunny.

8. Triple Threat match for the Golden Gig: Pissed Off Nerdy Gamer (P.O.N.G.) def. “The Link to the Future” Anton Voorhees and Johnny “Drinko” Butabi to retain the Golden Gig.

9. Hoodfigher Tournament finals: Pizza Cat def. “The King of Sleaze” Joey Ryan to become the 2016 Hoodfigher Champion.

You can watch a live stream of every first Friday show, along with every other Hoodslam ever recorded, by subscribing to the Hoodslam YouTube channel for $1.99/month (includes free two week trial). Search “Hoodslammery” on YouTube.

Hoodslam runs at the Oakland Metro Opera House every first Friday of the month and will return on Friday, January 6 for Hoodslam: FIN.

Follow Hoodslam on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube, all @hoodslam.

Got pics or vids from the show? Post them with #hoodslam.

Hoodslam is a 21+ event. DON’T BRING YOUR FUCKING KIDS!

www.BirdsWillFall.com

Match 4 – HOODFIGHER TOURNAMENT

Tomorrow is the big day! One of the oldest traditions in Hoodslam lore, winners since 2010 include: Juice Lee, Ryu, Virgil Flynn III, Batmanuel, Link (now known as the Baron of Butt stuff Anton Voorhees), and current Golden Gig Champion PONG!  All have gone on to Championship glory – with the exception of the dark noche Batmanuel, who had his arm broken by the CAUTION last July after becoming number one contender to the Golden Gig.

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Nurse Ratchet: Not much is known of Nurse Ratchet. This haunting character doesn’t speak, and barely communicates. However, we are aware that when she pulls out her set of Nurse tools that shit gets ugly. Also clear is that she doesn’t feel pain like normal people.  Her disadvantages are that she doesn’t seem technically sound, and is easily distracted. At times it appears she’s not even aware a match is going on. Nor, though, does she appear to fatigue, a clear advantage when potentially fighting three opponents.  That, and she’s creepy as shit.

Joey Ryan: The King of Dong Style, bringing sleazy back to wrestling, it’s the Hoodslam return of Joey Ryan! This international superstar made waves in the wrestling world all the way to SportsCenter when he debuted his “U-Porn Plex” in Japan last year. After suplexing a dude with the strength of his own penis people really started paying attention. Underneath the baby oil and beyond the blow pops is a carefully hidden fighter who capitalizes on opportunities and is tougher than he wants his opponents to think. Generally an Intergender fighter, he’ll have to break from tradition and beat another man somewhere if he wants to win all three matches.

Match 3 – HoodFigher Tournament

Participants have traveled from across the globe – and from beyond – to perform in the HoodFigher Tournament since 2010.  The inaugural champion was Juice Lee, defeating Santa, Sagat, Guile and surprise final entrant Sheng Long to have the chance of calling himself first ever Tournament Champion.

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Drugz Bunny: The rabbit with a habit, from a left turn at Albuquerque, Drugz Bunny! Fan favorite of Oakland, the nation and the stars; the Bunny Club grows at a staggering rare! After spending 17 months as Golden Gig Champion, he finally relinquished the title under dubious circumstances after being pinned by 3 opponents at once last August. In October, he drew number one in the 30 Entity Rumble for the Gig, and almost won it nonetheless. Now back in the hunt, Drugz aims to prove he’s still the dominant force in Hoodslam by defeating 3 opponents in one night.

 

Brian Cage: Known as “The Machine” around the globe, Cage is the destroyer of Legends. Tearing through the likes of Alberto Del Rio, Rey Mysterio Jr and pretty much any indy internet darling you can think of, Cage is as imposing as they come.  He’s toured everywhere, been everywhere, worked everywhere BUT he’s no Hoodslam and wagon jumper, nor are we late for the Cage train; he’s CA family, and even performed at Hoodslam 2 at the Victory Warehouse in 2010.  No stranger to our strange land, Brian Cage looks to continue his complete dominance of wrestling by winning the accolade of Tournament Champion, all the while dazzling the crowd by living up to his mantra “GMSI” – “get my shit in”.

Shotzi Blackheart…Pizza Cat?

We reported on her entry in the tournament earlier, and immediately were sent this documentary style footage of New U members Brutal Rob Hands and Shotzi Blackheart training for the upcoming tournament this Friday. Things have taken a turn for the odd…

Match 2nd: HoodFigher Tournament

The yearly tradition is this Friday! Who will survive three grueling contests in one night to achieve victory? Whoever it is, they earn bragging rights for the year AND a shot at the Best Athlete in the East Bay Golden Fanny Packs Awards at first friday in January!

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Zangev: Unlike the spelling of his name, none can deny the ultimate muscle power of the Soviet bear wrestling street fighter.  His piledriver is one of the most devastating maneuvers in the Hoodslam locker room, and he’s used it in Oakland since 2012 to achieve numerous victories. At multiple times he was within grasp of the Golden Gig, but to no avail. Lately, he has felt the cold shoulder from both his Street Fighter compatriots and Hoodslam originals. The Russian Lover is the most experienced of our 8 HoodFigher Tournament participants in Tournament battle.

 

Shotzi Blackheart: member of New U with brutal Rob Hands and their Coach, Coach Joey Nuggs. She made her wrestling debut in this tournament two years ago, making it to the semi finals. She also won the Kayfabe Memorial Tournament in April 2015, but never cashed in the trophy due to internal strife with her former squad, Stoner U.  We’d like to say she’s more focused now, but after being bitten by Intergalactic Ambassador Drucilla’s space kitty at Novembers Walking Phoenix event, she’s been…less than focused.

Match 1: HOOD FIGHER TOURNAMENT

This Friday is the annual tradition, and the tournaments opening round will be announced a match a day this week! The winner will be the SEVENTH Tournament Champion, and receive an opportunity at the Best Athlete in the East Bay Golden Fanny Packs at January First Friday!

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Cereal Man : A visitor on our planet for almost two years now, this Super Hero and champion of balanced breakfast has learned a lot in his stay!  After being betrayed and beaten by Brittany Wonder multiple times, Cereal MAN finally found his fire and was able to defeat his former (?)crush/nemesis.  Last year he went to the finals vs PONG, could the momentum from his recent feud carry him all the way in 2016?

 

Sinn Bodhi:  Taking the trip from Freakshow Wrestling in Las Vegas to Hoodslam in Oakland, this killer clown is sure to make a lasting impression on newcomers.  The Warlord of Weird, Sinn Bodhi is no stranger to Hoodslam circles. He’s no stranger to any circle; you name it, he’s been there and done that.  Outwardly chaotic, internally disturbed, his experience and unique application of knowledge have kept him sharply on the keen edge of brilliance and insanity. There is no fear in his psyche, only the perpetually spinning cogs of a sado masochistic mental monster machine.

80s Night Results

Results. Just needs attendance.

 

Hoodslam: 80s for the Ladies – Rock til You Drop, Rock Rock Never Stop

 

Friday, November 18, 2016

Oakland Metro Opera House

Oakland, CA

Paid attendance: 207

 

Live commentary by “Broseph” Joe Brody as Axl BROse and Giant Bomb’s “Dirty” Dan Ryckert as Waluigi wearing a “Terminator” shirt.

 

Tonight’s musical guest was Madonna and Men Without Jimmy Hats.

 

1. Six-entity tag team match: The Princess Bride (Buttercup, the guy from “Robin Hood: Men in Tights” and Andre the Giant) def. Bill & Ted and Alf.

 

2. “The King of Pop” Michael Jackson def. “Weird” Al Yankovic.

 

3. Three-way tag team match: The Blues Brothers (Jake and Elwood) def. Miami Vice (Crockett and Tubbs) and Reading Rambo (Big Rambo and Little Rambo).

 

4. Daniel-San def. Ryu Hayabusa, the Nina Gaiden.

 

Special burlesque performance by JonBenet Butterbuns (https://www.facebook.com/JonBenetButterbuns/?fref=ts)

 

5. Indiana Jones def. She-Ra.

 

6. Scorpion as David Bowie as the Goblin King def. Rick Astley.

 

You can watch a live stream of every first Friday show, along with every Hoodslam ever recorded by subscribing to the Hoodslam YouTube channel for $1.99/month (includes free two-week trial). Search “Hoodslammery” on YouTube.

 

Hoodslam runs at the Oakland Metro Opera House every first Friday of the month and will return on Friday, December 2 for the annual Hoodfighter Tournament https://www.facebook.com/events/248018308916846/.

 

Follow Hoodslam on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube, all @hoodslam.

 

Got pics or vids from the show? Post them with #hoodslam.

 

Hoodslam is a 21+ event. DON’T BRING YOUR FUCKING KIDS!

 

www.BirdsWillFall.com

DAN RYCKERT AT 80S NIGHT

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Burlesque bombshell JonBenet Butterbuns isn’t the only special guest at Hoodslam: 80s For The Ladies (Rock till you drop rock rock never stop) this Friday at the Oakland Metro Operahouse!

 

Joining Broseph Joe Brody on commentary is Giant Bomb’s own, Dan Ryckert!

 

Broseph and Dirty Dan on commentary? RADICAL!

 

Online pre-sale ends at 11:30pm this Thursday: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/hoodslam-presents-80s-for-the-ladies-tickets-29218730008

 

#Hoodslam #GiantBomb

80s for the Ladies: Rock till you Drop, Rock Rock NEVER STOP

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Tickets for Hoodslam: 80s For The Ladies (Rock till you drop rock rock never stop) are available NOW: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/hoodslam-presents-80s-for-the-ladies-tickets-29218730008

 

As if Hoodslam’s tribute to all things 80s wasn’t gonna be amazing enough, we’re psyched as fuck to announce that you will feast your eyes on a breathtaking performance by one of the bay’s most beautiful burlesque bombshells, JonBenet Butterbuns!

 

Doesn’t matter how cold it is outside. On Friday, November 18, the Oakland Metro Operahouse is gonna be hot as fuck.

 

#Hoodslam

WALKING PHOENIX RESULTS

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Friday, November 4, 2016

Oakland Metro Opera House

Oakland, CA

Paid attendance: 760

 

Live commentary by “Broseph” Joe Brody.

 

Tonight’s musical guest was Slopdick Murphys.

 

1. Finals of the Top of the SkyDreamers Miracle Ecstacy Cup Double Chaos Redondo of Blood Round-Robin Tournament for the Intergalactic Tag Team Championship: Virgil Flynn III & “The Mexican Werewolf” def. Ken & Ryu to win the 2016 Top of the SkyDreamers Miracle Ecstacy Cup Double Chaos Redondo of Blood Round-Robin Tournament, becoming the new Intergalactic Tag Team Champions.

 

2. Drugz Bunny def. “Brutal” Rob Hands (with Coach Joey Nuggs, representing the New U).

 

3. Fatal Four-Way match to determine the new number one contender for the Golden Gig: “The LINK to the Future” Anton Voorhees (representing The CAUTION [Caution!]) def. James C., “The Russian Lover” Zangiev, and Johnny “Drinko” Butabi to become the number one contender for the Golden Gig, facing Pissed Off Nerdy Gamer (P.O.N.G.) in the main event.

 

4. Four-way tag team match for the Best Athlete in the East Bay Golden Fannypacks: 2/3 of The CAUTION (Caution!) DARK Sheik and “The Talent” Ean Hancement (champions) def. The New U (Coach Joey Nuggs and Shotzi Blackheart), Troof and Conundrum (with Drucilla), and The Stoner Brothers (Rick-Scott Stoner and Scott-Rick Stoner) to retain the Best Athlete in the East Bay Golden Fannypacks.

 

5. Cereal Man def. Brittany Wonder (with Doc Atrocity).

 

6. Golden Gig Championship: Pissed Off Nerdy Gamer (P.O.N.G., champion) def. “The LINK to the Future” Anton Voorhees to retain the Golden Gig.

 

You can watch a live stream of every first Friday show, along with every other Hoodslam ever recorded, by subscribing to the Hoodslam YouTube channel for $1.99/month (includes free two week trial). Search “Hoodslammery” on YouTube.

 

Hoodslam runs at the Oakland Metro Opera House every first Friday of the month and will return on Friday, December 2 for the annual Hoodfighter Tournament https://www.facebook.com/events/248018308916846/. Before that, however, Hoodslam returns to the Oakland Metro Opera House on Friday, November 18 for Hoodslam: 80s All Over – Rock til You Drop, Rock, Rock, Never Stop: https://www.facebook.com/events/1107545562649586/

 

Follow Hoodslam on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube, all @hoodslam.

 

Got pics or vids from the show? Post them with #hoodslam.

 

Hoodslam is a 21+ event. DON’T BRING YOUR FUCKING KIDS!

 

www.BirdsWillFall.com