Altair v Link – The Movie Assassins Creed v Legend of Zelda

One day in Hyrule, an epic encounter took place. Altair and Link became engaged in a game of human (and Hylian) chess. Luckily, our camera men had driven there to capture such a happening. Thats why theres cars in Hyrule. get over it.

music is
Twilight Princess – snowpeak ruins
Turtles in Time boss theme by the Hoodslam Band
Mega Man Dr Wilys Theme by the the Hoodslam Band

we’re on facebook and stuff. look it up.

Hoodslam: Fuck the Fans V – BROetic Justice (Oct. 3rd) Results


Hoodslam: Fuck the Fans V – BROetic Justice

Friday, October 3, 2014

Oakland Metro Opera House

Oakland, CA

Paid attendance: 1,026


On this night, the Hoodslam Band was known as Nickelback. Upon learning their name for the evening, the Hoodslam Band immediately threatened to walk out on the show. The Hoodslam Band and “Broseph” Joe Brody eventually compromised on “Ticklesack.”


Live commentary by “Broseph” Joe Brody (WWE Tough Enough’s A.J. Kirsch), El Flaco Loco, PONG (Pissed Off Nerdy Gamer) and Coach Joey Nuggs.


  1. Cereal Man def. Scorpion with the Cereal Buster to become the number one contender for the Best Athlete in the East Bay Award after FONG (F*cking Obese Nerdy Gamer) detained Scorpion’s spear.


  1. Lights-On, Falls-Count-Anywhere Raven’s Rules match: Shelly Martinez def. “Ultragirl” Brittany Wonder after “Super Barrio Brother” Jesus Cruz hit Brittany Wonder with the No Mames on a pile of gummy bears.


  1. Booze vs. Blunts Tag Team Grudge Match: The Stoner Brothers (Rick Scott and Scott Rick, representing Stoner U, with “Waterboy” Bobby Burgerhands and Coach Joey Nuggs) def. The Knights of the Roxbury (Anthony Butabi and Johnny “Drinko” Butabi) with the Dab Day Afternoon.


  1. Prince of Darkness match that became a Russian Chain match that became a Lumberjack match that became a Coalminer’s Glove match to determine the undisputed mayor of Hoodslam: El Flacco Loco def. Doc Atrocity (with United Sideshows and Atrocities) by using the coalminer’s glove to become the undisputed mayor of Hoodslam. He then relinquished the office to the new mayor of Hoodslam – the fans.


  1. Four-way match for the Golden Gig: Juiced Lee def. “The Mexican Warewolf” El Chupacabra (with Courtney Crimson), Virgil Flynn III and Drugz Bunny with a top-rope moonsault on Drugz Bunny to retain the Golden Gig. Following the match, the James Gang (James C. and Stony Montana) arrived. Stony put the boots to Drugz. James was about to cash in his Dixie Carter Memorial Lethal Lottery Battle Bowl Tag Team Tournament trophy, but Drugz got the upper hand on Stony. Since the bell never rang, James retains his right to challenge anyone, at anytime, in any kind of match.


  1. 21-and-over (the top rope) battle royal to be the number one contender to the Golden Gig: Johnny “Drinko” Butabi def. Macho Taco, the PB&J Banana, Frank Meyer, Cereal Man, “The Waterboy” Bobby Burgerhands, Stony Montana, Coach Joey Nuggs, Rick-Scott Stoner, PONG (Pissed Off Nerdy Gamer), Ken, FONG (F*cking Obese Nerdy Gamer), Charlie Chaplain, Ryu, “Broseph” Joe Brody, Butternuts, “Super Barrio Brother” Jesus Cruz, “The Russian Lover” Zangief, Bat Manuel, “The Hero of HIGHrule” Link, James C., and Anthony Butabi to become the number one contender for the Golden Gig.


To see this show and previous shows in their entirety, check out


Hoodslam runs at the Oakland Metro Opera House every first Friday of the month and will return on Friday, November 7 for 80s for the Ladies III.


Hoodslam is a 21+ event. DON’T BRING YOUR F*CKING KIDS!


Follow Hoodslam on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube, all @Hoodslam.

USFtv went to Hoodslam

USFtv- University of San Francisco’s only and best student-run television station responds to a student request for capturing “hoodfights,” this is HOODSLAM. HOODSLAM!



Shelly Martinez talks Hoodslam on PWTorch Livecast

Shelly Martinez talks about her fantastic series of matches with Brittany Wonder on the PWTorch Livecast! (skip to 33 minutes) Be sure to see her next month at 80s for the Ladies!

Check Out Wrestling Podcasts at Blog Talk Radio with Pro Wrestling Torch on BlogTalkRadio

80s for the Ladies returns Nov 7th!

Here is our complete uploading the epic brawl that was James C v. Drugz Bunny in a 1920s Prohibition Match for the right to use Here Comes the Hot Stepper by Ini Kamoze as entrance music from last years 80s for the Ladies event. 80s for the Ladies returns First Friday in November!

If you want to see more you can watch the whole show at SMARTMARKVIDEO.COM/HOODSLAM for $9.99!

November 7th, 2014 doors 8:30, show 9pm

630 3rd Street, Oakland Metro Operahouse
$10 cover, 21&up, dontbringyourfnkids – social media, we’re @Hoodslam

FTFanclub show Hoodslam: GiGapella

Did you know we had a secret show last week just for Fanclub members? If you love getting fucked at our monthly shows and can’t get enough wrestling action then you need to join the Hoodslam FTFanclub! This was just the latest event that we have for FTFanclub members where they can party with your favorite Hoodslam wrestlers.

FTFanclub members get their own ID card, cool new merch, access to an elite facebook group, and free admission to our infamous fanclub shows! Join the FTFanclub!


This Friday, Hoodslam goes to the bros!

This Friday, bro…if you’re not at the Oakland Metro Operahouse to witness Hoodslam‘s biggest show of the fall, to witness history in the making, to witness BROetry in motion, you’ll be doomed to a lifetime of rancid pussy and burning urination.

Hoodslam: FTF V – BROetic Justice. Friday, October 3. #FTFV #BROeticJustice

Your BROliness,

Broseph Joe Brody

This Friday, Hoodslam goes to the bros!

Hoodslam: FTF V – BROetic Justice • Friday, October 3 • Oakland Metro Operahouse (630 Third Street in Oakland, CA) • Doors at 8:30pm, show at 9:00pm • $10 at the door • Full bar • Live music from the The Hoodslam Band • DON’T BRING YOUR FUCKING KIDS!

BREAKING NEWS: Broseph Joe Brody’s Penis Signs WWE Developmental Deal

The penis of Hoodslam star and reality TV personality Broseph Joe Brody (AJ Kirsch) has been signed to a WWE Devolopmental contract this week. Stemming from it’s recent appearance on VH1’s “Dating Naked,” the Bro’s wiener is a hot commodity, having turned down offers from TNA, the New York Yankees and Nike to head to the Performance Center in Florida. Although known as a “stiff” worker in the Hoodslam ring, Broseph’s penis should fit well into the WWE landscape.

“We feel that Broseph’s penis will have a long standing future here in the WWE,” said Chief Operating Officer Triple H. “We figure it’ll factor in heavily on future seasons of Total Divas, and should anchor our upcoming relaunch of the Cruiserweight Division.”

Originally, Broseph’s balls were planned to be signed in a “package” deal, but were not offered contracts because they needed to bulk up. The stable of Broseph’s dick and balls may still make WWE TV, but instead of being paired with his balls, it is likely that the stable will instead include The Bella Twins.

“I’m really excited to be a part of the WWE.” said Broseph’s penis “Although I kind of wish WCW was still around, so I could be where the big boys play.”

Broseph’s penis will have to undergo a name change in accordance with WWE’s policies. His penis is expected to debut on NXT this November under the name “Terry Spunk.”




No cheesy pun in the header for this one, the name speaks for itself. On August 23rd in San Francisco, Brittany Wonder was able to defeat Shelly Martinez in a physical match that sprawled across the Z Space, leaving many a splat from a suplex on the concrete floor.

At the September 5th event back in Oakland, Shelly, who has Shelly Martinez’s Funpage, welcomed Brittany to the ring, and in the spirit of friendly competition, asked for a rematch. Again, they fought across another building, including battling upon the bar at the Oakland Metro Operahouse. Shelly won this time, although it was clearly with the help of unsportswomanlike conduct. (I’m told she spit period blood in her face, but only Jesus knows)

The rubber match has been booked, but Shelly Martinez requested a single caveat: that it be Falls Count Anywhere in the building. That means on the floor. On the bar. On the fans. In the bathroom. In the smoking section. On the hotdog truck. ANYWHERE you can get your opponents shoulders down for three seconds, it counts. So we’re turning the fucking lights on. RAVENS RULES!

30(?) Entity Over the Top Rope Royal Rumble of Ranking Ramifications, OCT 3rd

– We learned from past FTF events that sometimes our host isn’t gracious. They don’t include everyone. They only want revenge or think of themselves. So we think of the children. Not kids, because dontbringyourfnkids – I mean Gods children. Which is us, the rest of us, who don’t have matches. So we have one big match. In fact, it is annually the biggest match in all of the Hoodslam season.

The Royal Rumble of Ranking Ramifications goes like this: two unlucky souls walk to the ring. Every minute or two, another entrant comes to the ring. This goes on for like 30 people. A contestant is eliminated from the match when they are thrown over the ring ropes and both feet touch the floor. Last year, no fans died. Hopefully they remember to get the f out of the way this year too.

The winner is promised a shot at the Golden Gig at our next event. Literally anyone on the roster can be catapulted into an opportunity to fight for our most prestigious award. Those at the top of the mountain will be swiftly brushed aside, effectively boned. Ask not why the bone bones, the bone bones for thee.

October 3rd, 2014 doors 8:30, show 9pm
630 3rd Street, Oakland Metro Operahouse
$10 cover, 21&up, dontbringyourfnkids – social media, we’re @Hoodslam

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