Hoodslam XLVIII: The Smoklahoma Bowl – The Bridge to Entertania
Friday, February 7, 2014
Oakland Metro Opera House
Paid attendance: 842
On this night, the Hoodslam Band was known as the “Seattle Sea Cocks.”
Live commentary by “Broseph” Joe Brody (WWE Tough Enough’s A.J. Kirsch), and the mayor of Hoodslam, El Flaco Loco.
1. The team of DARK Sheik and Juiced Lee def. Team Game Over (PONG [Pissed Off Nerdy Gamer] and FONG [Fucking Obese Nerdy Gamer]) when DARK Sheik hit the Dirty Bomb on FONG to retain the Golden Gig.
2. Drugz Bunny def. “Ultragirl” Brittany Wonder with a jackknife roll-up.
3. The Stoner Brothers (Rick-Scott and Scott-Rick, with Coach Joey Nuggs and Missy High-as-Shit) def. the team of Blanka and Zangief when Rick-Scott Stoner hit a top-rope frog splash on Zangief.
4. Sub-Zero (with Sindel and the debuting Princess Kitana) def. James C with the Lin Kuei uppercut after Princess Kitana distracted James and Sindel stunned him with the sonic scream.
5. Virgil Flynn III def. Bat Manuel with the 450 splash to retain the Best Athlete in the East Bay Golden Fannypack.
6. The Knights of the Roxbury (Johnny Drinko Butabi and Anthony Butabi) def. the team of “Broseph” Joe Brody and “The Metalhead Maniac” Sledge when the Butabi brothers hit the Boozeday Device on Broseph.
Special burlesque performance by Alijah Dresden of the Sizzling Sirens Burlesque Experience.
7. “Super Barrio Brother” Jesus Cruz def. Doc Atrocity with a school boy roll up when El Chupacabra distracted Doc.
8. DARK Sheik and Juiced Lee def. Team Hadouken (Street Fighter II’s Ryu and Ken, with Cammy and Cammy’s ass) when DARK Sheik hit the Dirty Bomb on Ryu to retain the Golden Gig.
To see this and previous shows in their entirety, check out www.SmartMarkVideo.com/Hoodslam
Hoodslam runs at the Oakland Metro Opera House every first Friday of the month and will return on Friday, March 7 for Hoodslam – Crossroads to Entertania: The Road to Entertania
Hoodslam is a 21+ event.
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El Flaco Loco is new Mayor of Hoodslam! Finding an authority figure for Hoodslam has not been a simple task. Firstly, Pink Panther, the should be mayor, was assassinated in November 2012 without ever serving a day of his term. El Sparko, masked referee and Official Senior Official of our humble event, became defacto authority figure – but his subsequent trial left him stripped of any Official power. Once more, we were in dire need of someone to control the chaos.
It was announced a new election would take place late in 2013, so that the slain Pink Panthers bloodied crown could be washed off and restored anew! Mr. Hoodslam 2, former proud member of the Panther Party, was the first to throw his name in the hat, hoping to fulfill the legacy of his fallen leader. Doc Atrocity was next to enter, confident that winning Mayor of Hoodslam would bridge the gap between where he is now and his destiny of taking control of Hoodslam by the year 2099. Lastly, Sean Michaels Allen became a candidate, believing that through a position of power he could enact a revenge upon the fans who booed him so ravenously during his brief stint as ring announcer in wake of the beloved Ike Burners sudden disappearance.
However, Mr Hoodslam 2 never showed up for the election. This left the hated Sean Michaels Allen and the twisted Doc Atrocity as the only viable options. Things looked bleak. But in an unprecedented twist, hope came from a third party.
El Flaco Loco, Norcal wrestling legend and part time Hoodslam commentator charged the scene. He delivered an impassioned speech that whipped the hundreds in attendance into a frenzy, and was shortly after named the official winner of the Mayor of Hoodslam election!
February 7th, no whistles blown, no flags thrown, no instant replay needed – El Flaco has his first day on the job!
Hoodslam presents the 2013 (yes, 2013) Hoodfighter Tournament – RESULTS
Saturday, January 25, 2014
Live commentary by “Broseph” Joe Brody (WWE Tough Enough’s A.J. Kirsch), featuring guest commentary from the fans at ringside.
1. Hoodfighter Tournament – opening round: Sub Zero w/ Sindel (representing Mortal Kombat) def. Ryu (representing Street Fighter II) with the freeze/uppercut combination when Akuma distracted Ryu. Sub-Zero advances.
2. Hoodfighter Tournament – opening round: DARK Sheik (representing Hoodslam) def. Ken (representing Street Fighter II) with the Shia Crescent.
3. Hoodfighter Tournament – opening round: Bat Manuel (representing Hoodslam) def. Scorpion (representing Mortal Kombat) when Sub-Zero distracted and froze Scorpion.
4. Hoodfighter Tournament – opening round: “Ultragirl” Brittany Wonder (representing Hoodslam) def. Drugz Bunny (representing Hoodslam) with an inside cradle.
5. “The Metalhead Maniac” Sledge def. Buddy Royal with the Death Knell.
6. “Super Barrio Brother” Jesus Cruz def. Anthony Butabi with the Kryptonite Crunch.
7. Hoodfighter Tournament – semi-finals: Bat Manuel (representing Hoodslam) def. DARK Sheik (representing Hoodslam) with a pin-fall counter to the magistral cradle.
8. Hoodfighter Tournament – semi-finals: “Ultragirl” Brittany Wonder (representing Hoodslam) def. Sub-Zero w/Sindel (representing Mortal Kombat) with the Ka-POW when Scorpion hit the “COME HERE” spear and uppercut combo on Sub-Zero.
9. The Stoner Brothers (Rick-Scott and Scott Rick, with Coach Joey Nuggs) def. the team of Virgil Flynn III and Charlie Chalpin with the Rizz Bomb on Charlie Chaplin.
10. Hoodfighter Tournament – final round: Bat Manuel (representing Hoodslam) def. “Ultragirl” Brittany Wonder to become the 2013 Hoodfighter Tournament Champion, earning a shot at Virgil Flynn III’s “Best Athlete in the East Bay” award at Hoodslam: XLVIII – The Smoklahoma Bowl on Friday, February 7 at the Oakland Metro Opera House.
To enjoy exclusive shows, members-only merch, and a ton of other cool stuff, visit www.BirdsWillFall.com and join the FTFanClub.
Saturday January 25th, we return to the Victory Warehouse for a special FTFanclub members only show, and what a show it will be! Wanna be a part of this special event? Then you gotta join the club!
First entrant for the Hoodfighter Tournament, Drugz Bunny
Second entrant, “Street Fighter” Ken
Third entrant, Bat Manuel
Fourth entrant, “Ultra Girl” Brittany Wonder
Make sure to like Hoodslam on Facebook to find out who will be announced next!
Upset you missed Last Year’s Resolution: The Sequel? Thanks to Smart Mark Video you can watch past (and most recent) Hoodslam events for the low price of $9.99!
You can download January’s show here!
Don’t beat yourself, treat yourself!
Hoodslam: “Last Year’s Resolution – The Sequel” results
Friday, January 3, 2014
Oakland, Calif. at Oakland Metro Opera House
Paid attendance: 790
On this night, the Hoodslam Band was known as “Mayoral Erection.”
Live commentary by “Broseph” Joe Brody (WWE Tough Enough’s A.J. Kirsch) and “Master Spliffer.”
(1) Ryu beat Sub-Zero (w/Sindel) with a Hadouken following a beat-down from Scorpion on Sub-Zero.
(2) The Knights of the Roxbury (Johnny Drinko Butabi & Anthony Butabi) beat “Ultragirl” Brittany Wonder & “Super Barrio Brother” Jesus Kruze in a tag team match when the Butabis hit the Boozeday Device on Brittany Wonder.
(3) Ken beat the PB&J Banana, “The Metalhead Maniac” Sledge, Batmanuel, Soundwave, and James C. in an over-the-top-rope/pinfall gauntlet match when Ken hit a Shoryuken to pin James C.
(4) Juiced Lee & “The Psycho Shooter” Drake Younger beat DARK Sheik & Christina Von Eerie in a non-Golden Gig tag team match when Drake Younger hit the Drake’s Landing on DARK Sheik.
(5) Drugz Bunny beat “Broseph” Joe Brody with the Stardust Swandive.
(6) Game Over (PONG [Pissed Off Nerdy Gamer] and FONG [F’n Obese Nerdy Gamer]) beat The Stoner Brothers (Rick-Scott Stoner & Scott-Rick Stoner w/Coach Joey Nuggs) in a tag team match when Rick-Scott missed a top-rope splash.
The fans at the Oakland Metro Opera House elected El Flaco Loco the new mayor of Hoodslam. He defeated Doc Atrocity and Shawn Michaels’s Allen.
Special performance by Cat Sweet.
(7) Virgil Flynn III beat “The New Age Punisher” B-Boy to retain the Best Athlete in the East Bay Award. Flynn won with an inside cradle.
[ FYI: This show and previous shows can be viewed in their entirety HERE. Hoodslam runs at the Oakland Metro Opera House every first Friday of the month and will return on Friday, February 7 for "Hoodslam: XLVIII - The Smokelahoma Bowl." Hoodslam is a 21+ event. ]
If you’ve always wanted to be able to relive our December show, now you can! Hoodslam: Non Denominational Winter Season Celebrational Festivity…of Doom…..DOS! is now available on Smart Mark Videos for just $9.99!