Hoodslam Declaration of Contining the Awesome

If you were at our last event, you heard that starting on Friday, February 6, Hoodslam will be raising the price of admission from $10 to $20. (BUT, at the bottom of this declaration contains info on how to get in for $5 off in February!)

Now, we know you might not love that. Hear us out: (“read us out”, whatever, fuck)

1.) We believe in our hearts this show is unparalleled. Oprah charges 1000 bucks a ticket (ask Revolva). Most places have 20 dollar cover, and they DONT EVEN FUCK YOU BEAUTIFUL FANS. Rude.

Secondably) – We’re growing. We have a more eyes on us than ever. Take a look at the past 18 months: East Bay Express, Wine and Bowties, Larry King Now, San Francisco Chronicle, San Jose Mercury News, The Steve Austin Show, SF Weekly, Vice.com, the LA Times…We did an opera, for fuck’s sake! Some jokers made a movie about us (available on amazon.com right now btw- we want our check Nelson)!

Thats amazing. But it means we’ve gotta step our game up before some other Johnny-Come-Cosplay-Lately indy show with fabulous moolah steals our shizz! You know they’re out there…just lurking like sharks in the water…

C) The majority of the money we’ll make once this change goes into effect will be going right back into the show. You’re gonna notice some major changes in Hoodslam’s presentation, production, and more. In short, we’re gonna use this extra income to fuck the fans in ways we barely dare to dream. Hopefully we can give you a preview of that January 2nd at “Winter is Squirting”, and get any unforseen bullshit handled so we can hit the ground fucking February 6th.

Fourthwise) – Friday, February 6 is 20 dollars at the door to see Hoodslam: Femmed Out – Drag Me to Hell. A show all about the beautiful feminine types in our world. We love the ones that go the extra mile to get dolled up.

In fact, we love them so dearly, that at our first 20 dollar event YOU CAN GET $5 DOLLARS OFF AT THE DOOR FOR COMING “FEMMED OUT”. Whats that mean? It ain’t ladies night. We don’t care what your ID says under gender. We don’t care how you indentify. If you want a discount, you gotta be femmed out. You know what we mean damnit.

Cisgender males, if you come in drag, (not a friggen kilt over jeans and a shitty wig) you will get the discount…so, IF you can appease the to-be-named judges who will be at the front door of the Oakland Metro on the night of Friday, February 6, you’ll pay the ladies’ price.

Lastable) – So, there you have it. Admission goes from $10 to $20 come Friday, February 6 for Hoodslam: Femmed Out – Drag Me to Hell. If you think $20 is unfair, unjust, or too much, we here at Hoodslam are very much ok with you never coming to another show again. If this is where you and the accidental phenomenon part ways, so be it. Best of luck in your future endeavors. (We’ll miss you, but we’ll put on a tough face at parties and stuff.)

But if you like how you’ve been fucked over the last five years, just you wait: MARK THESE WORDS, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.

#BirdsWillFall #ThisIsReal #FuckTheFans

Hoodslam: Winter is Squirting Jan 2nd

January 2nd, 2015
Oakland Metro Operahouse
8 pm doors, 9 pm show
$10 cover FOR THE LAST TIME!
dontbringyourfnkids
www.birdswillfall.com
@Hoodslam on everything social that matters

The year is almost up, but we’re already hard at work to make our first show of 2015 the best we can! Some of it might need some ‘splainin. Some of it words won’t do justice. All of it will be fucking incredible. Believe that.

BEST ATHLETE IN THE BAY AWARD
The Hero of HIGHrule Link was able to defeat three opponents in a single night to become the 2014 HoodFighter Tournament winner. Now its time to claim his prize: a shot at the Best Athlete in the Bay Golden Fannypack Champion FONG (fucking obese nerdy gamer- he picked his fucking name).

However, there’s some shit; FONG, who claimed his Fannypack was stolen and thus refused to defend it for months, was awarded a new Golden Fannypack so that he could be the champion we deserved. It was at this moment that PONG (Pissed Off Nerdy Gamer, FONGs partner in team Game Over) was able to “find” the stolen Fannypack, and the two declared themselves CO-Best Athlete in the Bay.

What this means for our 2014 HoodFighter Champion is yet to be determined…

WHAT THE FUCKS UP, DOC?
Doc Atrocity may have lost his shit. How do you tell when an evil genetic splicer with visions of the future has gone crazy? Well, for one he’s been really nice to people. Second, he stared wearing skin. Somehow its creepier than before.

It all seems to have started with his run for Mayor of Hoodslam. DARK Sheik, after quitting in June 2013, returned that winter with peculiar news: he’d been to the future, and in the year 2099 Doc Atrocity will run Hoodslam, and, by extension, the world. (we do really well the next 85 years).

Assuming his dominance to be predestined, Doc began to wage war with much of Hoodslam, declaring himself the leader, and running a general amok. El Flaco Loco, just a commentator at the time, would stand up to him. He would rise as a warrior. He would become captain of our ship – all at the expense of Doc Atrocity.

Then, with everything Doc had dreamed of in Flaco Loco’s grasp…he just gave it away. The fans were declared leader of his tribe, and all Doc had fought for became meaningless…

In search of new meaning perhaps, Doc Atrocity has changed his tune. But so far, its a song nobody in Hoodslam wants to dance to, and his guilty feet have had to shuffle to this slow jam alone.

GOLDEN GIG CHAMPIONSHIP
Juiced Lee vs. Virgil Flynn the Third
Since September of 2013 Juiced Lee has held onto the greatest prize in our sport: the Golden Gig. Symbolizing excellence in our profession (that we invented), he who holds the Gig stands atop the Hoodslam mountain. He overtook the Stoner Brothers to become champion. He defeated his nemesis DARK Sheik to solidify himself. And for the last 15 months he has knocked down every opponent put in front of him, sometimes two or thee at a time. In almost 5 years of Hoodslam, he’s never really been beat.

Virgil Flynn III has taken a different route. Not a Hoodslam original, he came to the party late. He lost his first half dozen matches. He’s the smallest person on the roster. But his presence in Hoodslam is undeniable. InIGNORABLE! When he hits the stage, shit goes down. This former owner of the Best Athlete in the East Bay Award defeated almost 600 pounds of man at Decembers event when he was able to best both Scott Rick Stoner of Stoner U and the 1920s Gangster James C to earn his shot.

Now, for the first time ever, Juiced Lee takes on Virgil Flynn. The fans win. I’m just gonna sit back and watch the fn fireworks.

SO MUCH MORE, but its early and i’m hung over. Anthony Anthony Riv Butabi is still dying. Thats the big one.

BRITTANY WONDER, BATMANUEL, BROSEPH, BANANA, and other wrestlers that don’t start with B. (BeJESUS KRUZE?)
Winter is squirting
Hoodslam: Winter is Squirting

January 2nd, 2015
Oakland Metro Operahouse
8 pm doors, 9 pm show
$10 cover FOR THE LAST TIME!
dontbringyourfnkids
www.birdswillfall.com
@Hoodslam on everything social that matters

Why the Future of Pro Wrestling is the Death of Kayfabe

The Ace of Geeks blog interviewed Doc Atrocity about what kayfabe means in wrestling today, and how the TV Guys keep getting it wrong. Read all about it here and Doc Atrocity will offer you a quick death when he destroys the world.

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2014 Hood Fighter Tournament (Dec. 5th) Results

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From PWTorch.com

Hoodslam presents the 2014 Hoodfighter Tournament
Friday, December 5, 2014
Oakland, Calif. at the Oakland Metro Opera House

The venue was sold out. Live commentary by “Broseph” Joe Brody (WWE Tough Enough’s A.J. Kirsch) and the former mayor of Hoodslam, El Flaco Loco.

(1) Hoodfighter Tournament opening round: “The Mexican Werewolf” El Chupacabra beat “Rock Legend SCUM” Adam Thornstowe.

(2) Hoodfighter Tournament opening round: Missy High-as-s— beat Marty McF—.

(3) Hoodfighter Tournament opening round: “The Hero of HIGHrule” Link beat Rick-Scott Stoner.

(4) Hoodfighter Tournament opening round: DARK Sheik beat Anthony Butabi.

(5) Hoodfighter Tournament semi-final round: DARK Sheik beat Missy High-as-s— with the Go-To-Sheik. DARK Sheik advances to the finals of the Hoodfighter Tournament.

(6) Eight-person tag-team match: Cereal Man & Bat Manuel & “Ultragirl” Brittany Wonder & Scorpion as “Broseph” Joe Brody (BROpion) beat Doc Atrocity & Best Athlete in the East Bay Award co-holders GAME OVER (P.O.N.G. & F.O.N.G. & “Super Barrio Brother” Jesus Cruz when Bat Manuel hit Doc Atrocity with the Bat-O-Ram.

(7) Hoodfighter Tournament semi-final round: Link beat “The Mexican Werewolf” El Chupacabra with a Rupee Cutter off the top rope. Link advances to the finals of the Hoodfighter Tournament.

(8) Triple threat match: Virgil Flynn III beat James C. and Scott-Rick Stoner with a 450 splash on James.

(9) Golden Gig: Juiced Lee beat Johnny “Drinko” Butabi with a moonsault off the top rope to retain the Golden Gig.

(10) Hoodfighter Tournament finals: “The Hero of HIGHrule” Link beat DARK Sheik with a Spinning Rupee Cutter to become the 2014 Hoodfighter Tournament Champion.

[ FYI: A five-minute highlight reel featuring cool moments from the 2014 Hoodfighter Tournament is HERE. This show and previous shows can be found HERE.

Hoodslam runs at the Oakland Metro Opera House every first Friday of the month and will return on Friday, January 2. Follow Hoodslam on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube, all @Hoodslam ]

L.A. Times: Welcome to Hoodslam

L.A Times just added another article on Hoodslam! Check out some promos from Broseph Joe Brody, Johnny “Drinko” Butabi, “Waterboy” Bobby Burgerhands, Cereal Man, and #Hoodslam señor official, El Sparko!

 

AJLATimesWelcometoHoodslam

 

Hood Fighter Highlights

Here is a fan made highlight reel featuring clips from this past Friday’s Hoodfighter Tournament.

“If WWE tells the kids that there’s no Santa, then Christmas is ruined. We make Santa a homeless alcoholic and there are a bunch of drugs in his bag.” -Broseph Joe Brody

The Accidental Phenomenon

The story of one of the most controversial pro wrestling company’s in the country. Watch as they grew from their meager beginnings out of a dilapidated warehouse in the ghetto of Oakland California. To an award winning theatrical production that plays to sold out crowds.

Hoodslam: The Accidental Phenomenon” is a full-length documentary film from Dan Nelson Films and Slamfan that dives deep into the origin and evolution of #Hoodslam.

You can purchase a DVD or a digital download by searching “Hoodslam” on Amazon.com or by ordering from www.SlamFan.com

 

Hoodslam in L.A. Times

LA Times visited Hoodslam last month for “80s for the Ladies” and wrote a great article about the accidental phenomenon.

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Don’t forget this Friday: Hoodfighter Tournament 2014 • Friday, December 5 • Oakland Metro Operahouse (630 Third Street in Oakland, CA) • Doors at 8:00pm, show starts at 9:00pm • 21 and over • $10 at the door • Full bar • DON’T BRING YOUR FUCKING KIDS!

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This Friday, 2014 Hoodfighter Tournament

This Friday night, the Oakland Metro Operahouse will host the craziest characters from Hoodslam, the greatest fighters from Street Fighter II, and the most lethal warriors from Mortal Kombat in a one-night-only, single-elimination tournament.
This Friday night, the greatest fighters from Street Fighter II, and the most lethal warriors from Mortal Kombat in a one-night-only, single-elimination tournament. This is Hoodfighter Tournament 2014!
Hoodslam presents the annual Hoodfighter Tournament • Friday, December 5 • Oakland Metro Operahouse (630 Third Street in Oakland, CA) • Doors at 8:00pm, show starts at 9:00pm • 21 and over • $10 at the door • Full bar • DON’T BRING YOUR FUCKING KIDS!

NOTE: We have turned fans away the past several months. This WILL sell out (again). So, get there early, grab a drink, buy a T-shirt or something, and brace yourself for the jubilant madness that is mother…fuckin’…Hoodslam!

Hoodfighter Tournamnent Dec 5th

Once a year 8 competitors compete in a one night single elimination tournament. The winner gains superiority over all that fell before her/him, but is also granted the opportunity to challenge for The Best Athlete in the Bay Award.

Entrants thus far:

– Hero of Highrule LINK
– Top of the SkyDreamers Miracle eXtacy Cup Winner The “Mexican Werewolf” El Chupacabra
– Stoner U Head Coach Joey Nuggs
– Another member of Stoner U yet to be named
– Rock Legend SCUM Adam Thornstowe
– Former Golden Gig Champion Anthony Riv Butabi
– Former Golden Gig Champion and Best Athlete in the Bay DARK Sheik
– Another mystery entrant to be determined!

But thats not all, as Johnny “Drinko” Butabi will finally get his shot at the Golden Gig against Juiced Lee in the first ever confrontation between two Hoodslam ICONS!

MORE STUFF! JAMES C – DRUGZ BUNNY – BRITTANY WONDER – THE STONER BROTHERS – VIRGIL FLYNN III – CEREAL MAN – JESUS KRUZE (<–spelled like that) – BATMANUEL – DOC ATROCITY – Commentary from BROSEPH JOE BRODY – much FUCKING more! –

Hoodfighter Tournament 2014
Dec 5th, doors at 8 show at 9 PM
Oakland Metro Operahouse
630 3rd Street, $10 cover
donotbringyourfnkids
www.birdswillfall.com @hoodslam on everything social

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