RESULTS – BLOODSLAM 10/20/17 Oakland

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Hosted by Broseph Joe Brody, music by Mary Jane Lawless and the Hoodslam band

 

Bloodslam is an annual theatrical production, this year saw three acts interwoven between Halloween/horror themed matches

  1. Brittany the grey haired Vampire Slayer (with Grey haired Spike for some reason) defeated Count Chocula after attacking him with a metal spoon.  Since it wasn’t wood, he got up and bit Brittany after the match.

ACT 1:

DARK Sheik emerged through a portal, expecting to be in the year 2099.  He had been sent by Doc Atrocity to learn the secrets of the future, but his time portal was faulty and instead he was sent sideways to a different dimension.  He was soon arrested by local authorities who were reporting on the loud flash and disturbance cause by his entering of this realm.

Detective Dick Shoulders Lucido and Officer Ray and Officer Traylor apprehended DARK Sheik

end act –

2. Virgil Flynn III and Bat Manuel defeated Faces of Fear Zodiac and Taskmaster

ACT 2:

DARK Sheik was brought to this realms Head of Medicine, a  Dr Atticus Rocity, who explained to DARK Sheik that he was not in the future, but a sideways split.  DARK Sheik, being twice dead but still on the plane of the living, contained a special element within him that no longer existed in this reality.  A flashback match went on to reveal

3. Juice Lee defeated Death by ripping Death’s heart out

 

After defeating all living challengers, Juice Lee looked beyond.  He eventually faced Death itself, and became victorious.  His victory led to an earth filled with immortal denizens.  Over time, he was named Pope of an overseeing one world government.  Dr. Atticus saw DARK Sheik, and the death within him, as the key to breaking the never ending cycle of life.  He intended to torturously drain the death force from him, to return it to this existence.  Detective Lucido, overhearing this plan, confronted Dr. Atticus

4. Detective Lucido defeated Dr. Atticus

Lucido would then free the DARK Sheik from captivity, who would return the favor with a superkick before absconding.

end act

5.  Scarecrow from INJUSTICE 2 defeated Leatherface, Zombie Mime Jean Pierre and Pogo the Clown in a Fatal Four Way

 

ACT 3

Detective Lucido followed DARK Sheik to a bar, where he went to watch wrestling.  Lucido explained he helped him because what was to happen was unfair to DARK Sheik, and he thinks the opportunity to do good exists in life.  DARK Sheik said he was a creature who consumed, he didn’t provide, and his subsided primarily on competition.  But in a world he didn’t belong in, he had no fight TO fight.

Shortly, he would get into an argument with karaoke singer Ronnie Butabi, which Detective Lucido would try to break up.  They would all be interrupted by Dr Atticus and Officer Ray and Officer Traylor, who deemed Sheik a wanted suspect, Detective Lucido a traitorous vigilante Ronnie Butabi guilty by association.

6. DARK Sheik, Detective Lucido and Ronnie Butabi defeated Dr Atticus, Officer Ray and Officer Traylor

Super Pope Juice Lee the Redeemer would emerge, with deaths heart in glass display case

7. DARK Sheik defeats Super Pope Juice Lee the Redeemer with a Shia Crescent

 

After debilitating Super Pope Juice Lee the Redeemer for the briefest of moments, DARK Sheik grabbed the glass display with deaths heart and smashed it.  This caused the reality to black out, and all living beings to die.  All in the universe walked towards the light, leaving the already twice dead DARK Sheik alone in the now empty universe.

end act –

 

8. Anthony Butabi defeated Brutal Rob Hands with a superplex off a ladder through a table with a barbwire board and hot takis on it to become the new Best Athlete in the East Bay Golden Fannypack Champion

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