Zoopy Monsters & Hoodslam: Entertania II – Turning Lane (aka FTF access)
Thursday night our FTFanclub members get in free! Not a member, yet? There’s still time to join the club! Just follow this link and sign up to get in to Entertania II for free, plus lots of other super exclusive super awesome perks!
Hoodslam: Entertania III – Passing Lane
As “G.I. Bro” rushed out into the wrestling ring, it was clear that it was going to be an unusual night at Oakland’s Metro Opera House on March 6, 2015. The first collaboration between Austria-Californian rockers Arnocorps and Hoodslam, the Bay Area’s most prominent professional wrestling league, had a packed house drawing audiences from both the punk and wrestling word. Wasting little time, G.I. Bro, a muscled-up fratboy with a bedazzled hat hyped the crowd by getting them to chant Arnocorps’ name all while pouring shots of booze down the throats of attendees.
Arnocrops took the stage, each in camos, each wearing aviators, and each smoking a stogie. Frontman Holzfeuer leaped into the wreslting ring, delivered a short sermon about the bands background (they are fighting against “Austro-ploitation by playing heavy metal songs about ancient Austrian legends), and then the band ripped into a three song set. Arnocorps’ recordings are pretty wild, what with their tales of fighting Predators and Terminators and warlords, but their live show is on another level. Holzfeuer climbed in and out of the ring, up on the ropes, and shouted out battle cries as the band kicked out tunes equally influenced by thrash metal and NWOBH. Frankly, the music combined with visuals combined with the songs about killing aliens really is something to behold.
We combine with the ballsiest musicians from all of Austro-Calfiornia to bring you this mash up of genres. It’s pretty neat.
video by Mark Johnston.
EEEEEUUUUUAAAAGGGHHHHHHHUUUUUHHH
Just two short days until Hoodslam and ARNOCORPS: GET YOUR ASS TO MARCH! And just added to Friday’s mega ballsy event: A special ARNOCORPS rendition of “California Uber Alles” with original Dead Kennedy’s frontman JELLO BIAFRA! Shit’s gonna be real.
Fucking ARNOCORPS. Fucking Hoodslam. The fuck more you wanna know?
Here’s extra anyway!
Musics will be performed by the AustroCalifornian Rock Machine ensemble known as ARNOCORPS! They’ll do multiple sets throughout the evening. Graf Halzfeuer has even accepted the esteem position of Co Commentator for the evening alongside Broseph Joe Brody!
Golden Gig Championship
James C defends v. ‘Ultra Girl’ Brittany Wonder
To Unify the Best Athlete in the Bay Golden Fannypacks
Pissed Off Nerdy Gamer PONG v. Hero of Highrule LINK
The Stoner Bros have issued an open challenge to any THREE teams.
FORMER Golden Gig Champion Juiced Lee has silently vowed to make an impact
The man who will challenge for the Golden Gig at Entertania V, DRUGZ BUNNY!
A few ARNO-centric surprises are in store!
ALSO: Jesus KruzE! Bat Manuel! DARK Sheik! Christina Von Eerie! The Knights of the Roxbury Johnny “Drinko” Butabi and Anthony Riv Butabi! Cereal Man! The Top of the SkyDreamers Miracle eXstacy Cup Tournament Winner “Mexican Werewolf” El Chupacabra! More folks too!
The accidental phenomenon is item number 8 on The Huffington Post’s “21 things you must do in the San Francisco Bay Area.” There’s also a shout-out to our good friends at Tourettes Without Regrets!
From Maxim.com to Al Jazeera…Vice and LA times…now The New York Times! There’s a brand new slideshow on The New York Times featuring Hoodslam!
Hoodslam: FEMMED OUT – Drag Me To Hell
Friday, February 6, 2015
Oakland Metro Operahouse
Oakland, CA
Paid attendance: Sold out
Tonight’s musical guest was Oinga Boinga.
Live commentary by Marilyn MonBROe, Doc Atrociti, Joani Drinko Butabi and Bat Shelly.
1. Golden Gig Championship: Juiced Lee (champion) def. THE Brian Kendrick with a moonsault off the top rope to retain the Golden Gig.
2. Mike Awesome Tribute Suicide Six-Way Clusterfuck Challenge (winner becomes the number one contender for the Golden Gig at the next Hoodslam on Friday, March 6): Bratt Manuel def. James C., “Super Barrio Brother” Jesus Kruze, Mia Wallace, Sonya Blade, and “Ultramanuel” Battney Wonder when Bratt Manuel hit the Butt of Doom on James C.
3. Immediately following the previous match, Juiced Lee came out and challenged Bratt Manuel to a match for the Golden Gig to take place at that very moment. Bratt accepted. Juiced Lee def. Bratt Manuel with a moonsault off the top rope to retain the Golden Gig, leaving the number one contender spot for the Golden Gig on Friday, March 6 vacant.
4. Varsity Jacket Tag Team match: the Stoner Brothers (Rick-Scott and Scott-Rick, with coach Joey Nuggs) def. Team Cheerburger (Cheerleader Missy Hyasshit and Waterboy Bobby Burgerhands) when the Stoner brothers hit the Rizz Bomb on Missy Hyasshit to retain the Varsity Jackets.
Special performance from The Cat Sweet.
5. Four-way tag team match: The Queens of the Roxbury (Joani Drinko Butabi and Antonia Butabi) def. the team of Xena, Warrior Princess and Hercules, the Legendary Hero, the team of Bat Shelly and Storm (with Rogue), and the team of Poison and Scorpion as Cammy (with Cammy’s Ass) when the Queens of the Roxbury hit the Boozeday Device on Poison.
6. Best Athlete in the East Bay co-championship: Sheik (Link dressed as Zelda dressed as Sheik) from Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time def. Fucking Obese Nerdy Gamer with an Iron Boot double stomp to become co-holder of the Best Athlete in the East Bay Award.
7. Doc Atrocity, after endless bitching and moaning, was declared “Miss Hoodslam,” and then suffered a bloodbath while the entire femmed out roster threw tampons at him and chanted “plug it up! Plug it up!” Also, the bouquet of flowers he was holding burst into flames. Weird.
8. Gauntlet match to determine the number one contender at EnterTania: a returning Drugz Bunny def. Pissed Off Nerdy Gamer (PONG), Charlie Chaplin, Sage Sin Supreme, THE Brian Kendrick, Cereal Girl, Doc Atrocity, and Virigl Flynn III when he hit a Coke Slam on Virgil to become the number one contender for the Golden Gig in the main event of EnterTania.
Immediately following the match, Juiced Lee confronted Drugz Bunny and brutally beat him. James C. arrived to pick the bones of Drugz Bunny, but instead, slaughtered Juiced Lee with his Dixie Carter Memorial Lethal Lottery Battle Bowl Tag Team Tournament trophy. James then cashed it in to earn an impromptu no-disqualification match against Juiced Lee for the Golden Gig. James handcuffed Juiced, delivered the Gang Bang on an open steel chair, and pinned Juiced Lee to become the new Golden Gig Champion. Which means, at EnterTania, Hoodslam’s biggest show of the year taking place on Friday, April 3 at the Oakland Metro Opera House, the main event is scheduled to be James C. defending the Golden Gig against his former henchman, Drugz Bunny.
To see this show and previous shows in their entirety, check out www.SmartMarkVideo.com/Hoodslam
Hoodslam runs at the Oakland Metro Opera House every first Friday of the month and will return on Friday, March 6 for Hoodslam: Blood Sugar Sex Gimmik featuring musical guests, ArnoCorps.
Hoodslam is a 21+ event. DON’T BRING YOUR FUCKING KIDS!
Follow Hoodslam on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube, all @Hoodslam.
We all dress up like girls. Because its fun. While WWE says “loser wears a dress for 30 days”, we say “WINNERS WEAR A DRESS WHEN THEY FEEL LIKE IT”.
Thank you Mark Johnston for making the video.
You can see even more of these beautiful ladies in the Hoodslam – Femmed Out: Drag Me To Hell album.
Yesterday, Maxim featured Al Jazeera’s incredible short film on Hoodslam on their homepage. You can read all the nice things they said about us and watch the short film here: The Most Beautiful Underground Wrestling Documentary You’ll See All Day
With colorful characters like El Chupacabra, DrugzBunny (a cocaine addicted eighties hustler), the Dark Sheik, and Link (as in the main character of the video game series Zelda), Hoodslam is as cool as underground wrestling gets.
Get a parka and the morning after pill, and get ready because… Winter is Squirting.
Sometimes the world just moves to damn fast. So here is Hoodslam in all its slo-mo glory!
