Will Wrestle For Food

It was a good first Friday for the two Hoodslammers featured in this article.

 

Cereal Man became the number one contender for Pissed Off Nerdy Gamer’s Golden Gig.

 

And, after the New U handed The CAUTION (Caution!) their first-ever defeat when all three thirds are in a match, Coach Joey Nuggs and “Brutal” Rob Hands handed the Best Athlete in the East Bay Golden Fannypacks to Pizza Cat (formerly Shotzi Blackheart).

 

Never underestimate the power of a balanced breakfast. Or, the power of pizza.

 

Fight Booth dives deeper…

cereal

“Will Work For Food!” Five Wrestlers with Food Based Gimmicks You Will Love

 

#Hoodslam

The End is Nigh (and Fri…day)

The official notice has been given…

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Ambassador to the Galaxy Drucilla, along with Troof & Conundrum arrived in Hoodslam June 2016 with a simple task – to retrieve the Intergalactic Tag Team Champions. The tag champions HAD traveled to Hoodslam – albeit 5 years ago in late 2011 when they confronted a budding genesplicer named Doc Atrocity and his companion Zombie Vinny Butabi; This would be the untimely demise of the former Intergalactic Tag Team Champions.

 

Drucilla demanded new champions be crowned, and a tournament was hastily arranged. 10 teams would be put into two groups of 5. The groups battled in Round Robin competition, and whoever could get the most wins within their group would fight the winner of the other group.  The winner of that would be the new Intergalactic Tag Team Champions.

 

Not many asked questions, and the Top of the SkyDreamers Miracle eXstacy Cup returned: This time Double Chaos Redondo of Blood.  Block A had The Caution, New U, James and Juice Lee, West Side Playas 2099 and winners Ryu and Ken. Block 1 had Doc Atrocity and Brittany Wonder, The Knights of the Roxbury, Aliens Troof and Conundrum, The Stoner Brothers and winners El Chupacabra and Virgil Flynn III.

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El Chupacabra and Virgil Flynn III would win the entire tournament and claim the vacant championship, but only now could the real battle begin.

 

It was revealed that the tournament- and more specifically the Champions – had a purpose. Ambassador Drucilla explained that the Champions, and generations of champions before that, stood as a last defense against an ancient destroyer – The Walking Phoenix.

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The Walking Phoenix: immortal, immune to weaponry, immune to persuasion, capable of controlling minds and matter. A moving doomsday device, neither good nor evil, driven by consumption.  Unfathomable, it’s trajectory pointed to Earth.  And so, for the first time ever, the chosen guardians of our reality will face their destiny, and global damnation in The Walking Phoenix.

 

What began as a tournament may have instead been a going away party.

 

January 6th, Hoodslam “FIN”

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/hoodslam-presents-fin-tickets-30019775958

 

HOODSLAM 2 PART 4, December 2010

Holy Throwback Slam fans! Our full event Hoodslammery Page just uploaded our 5th event ever! That’s like 97 or so odd events ago! For 1.99 a month you can watch IT and ALL OTHER HOODSLAM, even LIVE STREAM! If you’ve got something better to spend less than 2 bucks on this month, Jump on it – And tell us about it!  As far as we know, taint a better deal on planet earf.

Juice Lee v Santa Clause 2010

A long time ago, on a night not unlike this, Hoodslam was a humble little party in an Oakland Warehouse, free to anyone with an adventurous spirit. Except fucking kids. Anyway, Juice Lee – who currently is mending a broken arm thanks to the Caution (CAUTION) – saw himself defending Hoodslam from invaders in the first annual HoodFigher Tournament. Here is his first round mystery opponent. [Oops, spoiler!]

#TBT SUPER #BFF AWESOME STUFF BLANKA ZANGEV

 

(Not every title is poetry) – A throwback to 2012, on this mighty solstice we offer to you this treat: Zangev and Blanka take on Bat-Shelly Martinez and Super Gal Amber O Neal! Also, featuring Danielle Martinez, Kevin Gill and Broseph J on commentary, and Cammy and Cammy’s ass (who may still have a Facebook page, who can keep up?[you]).

HOODFIGHER HIGHLIGHTS

Miss all the action from first friday? Too Frugal for our 1.99 Hoodslammery YouTube channel with all our full events? Do you do it all and JUST WANT MORE? Lucky all of you, here’s the pill version of our whole tournament for easy consumption. Thanks, Mark Johnston, for your tireless slow motion labor.

HoodFigher Tournament Results!

Hoodslam: Hoodfigher Tournament
dive(photo by Bear Z Bub)


Friday, December 2, 2016
Oakland Metro Opera House
Oakland, CA
Paid attendance: 910

Live commentary by “Broseph” Joe Brody and Doc Atrocity.

1. Hoodfigher Tournament opening round match: “The King of Sleaze” Joey Ryan def. Nurse Ratchet.

2. Hoodfigher Tournament opening round match: “The Warlord of Weird” Sinn Bodhi def. Cereal Man.

3. Hoodfigher Tournament opening round match: Pizza Cat (formerly known as Shotzi Blackheart, with “Brutal” Rob Hands and Coach Joey Nuggs) def. “The Russian Lover” Zangev, who announced his retirement from Hoodslam after the match.

4. Hoodfigher Tournament opening round match: Drugz Bunny def. “The Fuckin’ Machine” Brian Cage.

5. Four-Corners Sudden Death Match for the Best Athlete in the East Bay Golden Fannypacks OR the Intergalactic Tag Team Championships (titles only change hands if champions lose the fall): “The Mexican Werewolf” El Chupacabra and Virgil Flynn III (Intergalactic Tag Team champions) def. James. C and a cardboard cutout of JUICE Lee, Ken & Ryu, and The CAUTION (DARK Sheik, and “The Talent” Ean Hancement, with “The Link to the Future” Anton Voorhees). The CAUTION retained the Best Athlete in the East Bay Golden Fannypacks, as they were not involved in the decision.

6. Hoodfigher Tournament semi-finals match: Pizza Cat def. “The Warlord of Weird” Sinn Bodhi.

7. Hoodfigher Tournament semi-finals match: “The King of Sleaze” Joey Ryan def. Drugz Bunny.

8. Triple Threat match for the Golden Gig: Pissed Off Nerdy Gamer (P.O.N.G.) def. “The Link to the Future” Anton Voorhees and Johnny “Drinko” Butabi to retain the Golden Gig.

9. Hoodfigher Tournament finals: Pizza Cat def. “The King of Sleaze” Joey Ryan to become the 2016 Hoodfigher Champion.

You can watch a live stream of every first Friday show, along with every other Hoodslam ever recorded, by subscribing to the Hoodslam YouTube channel for $1.99/month (includes free two week trial). Search “Hoodslammery” on YouTube.

Hoodslam runs at the Oakland Metro Opera House every first Friday of the month and will return on Friday, January 6 for Hoodslam: FIN.

Follow Hoodslam on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube, all @hoodslam.

Got pics or vids from the show? Post them with #hoodslam.

Hoodslam is a 21+ event. DON’T BRING YOUR FUCKING KIDS!

www.BirdsWillFall.com

Match 4 – HOODFIGHER TOURNAMENT

Tomorrow is the big day! One of the oldest traditions in Hoodslam lore, winners since 2010 include: Juice Lee, Ryu, Virgil Flynn III, Batmanuel, Link (now known as the Baron of Butt stuff Anton Voorhees), and current Golden Gig Champion PONG!  All have gone on to Championship glory – with the exception of the dark noche Batmanuel, who had his arm broken by the CAUTION last July after becoming number one contender to the Golden Gig.

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Nurse Ratchet: Not much is known of Nurse Ratchet. This haunting character doesn’t speak, and barely communicates. However, we are aware that when she pulls out her set of Nurse tools that shit gets ugly. Also clear is that she doesn’t feel pain like normal people.  Her disadvantages are that she doesn’t seem technically sound, and is easily distracted. At times it appears she’s not even aware a match is going on. Nor, though, does she appear to fatigue, a clear advantage when potentially fighting three opponents.  That, and she’s creepy as shit.

Joey Ryan: The King of Dong Style, bringing sleazy back to wrestling, it’s the Hoodslam return of Joey Ryan! This international superstar made waves in the wrestling world all the way to SportsCenter when he debuted his “U-Porn Plex” in Japan last year. After suplexing a dude with the strength of his own penis people really started paying attention. Underneath the baby oil and beyond the blow pops is a carefully hidden fighter who capitalizes on opportunities and is tougher than he wants his opponents to think. Generally an Intergender fighter, he’ll have to break from tradition and beat another man somewhere if he wants to win all three matches.

This is Real