Match 4 – HOODFIGHER TOURNAMENT

Tomorrow is the big day! One of the oldest traditions in Hoodslam lore, winners since 2010 include: Juice Lee, Ryu, Virgil Flynn III, Batmanuel, Link (now known as the Baron of Butt stuff Anton Voorhees), and current Golden Gig Champion PONG!  All have gone on to Championship glory – with the exception of the dark noche Batmanuel, who had his arm broken by the CAUTION last July after becoming number one contender to the Golden Gig.

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Nurse Ratchet: Not much is known of Nurse Ratchet. This haunting character doesn’t speak, and barely communicates. However, we are aware that when she pulls out her set of Nurse tools that shit gets ugly. Also clear is that she doesn’t feel pain like normal people.  Her disadvantages are that she doesn’t seem technically sound, and is easily distracted. At times it appears she’s not even aware a match is going on. Nor, though, does she appear to fatigue, a clear advantage when potentially fighting three opponents.  That, and she’s creepy as shit.

Joey Ryan: The King of Dong Style, bringing sleazy back to wrestling, it’s the Hoodslam return of Joey Ryan! This international superstar made waves in the wrestling world all the way to SportsCenter when he debuted his “U-Porn Plex” in Japan last year. After suplexing a dude with the strength of his own penis people really started paying attention. Underneath the baby oil and beyond the blow pops is a carefully hidden fighter who capitalizes on opportunities and is tougher than he wants his opponents to think. Generally an Intergender fighter, he’ll have to break from tradition and beat another man somewhere if he wants to win all three matches.

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