Hoodslam: Fuck the Fans V – BROetic Justice
Friday, October 3, 2014
Oakland Metro Opera House
Paid attendance: 1,026
On this night, the Hoodslam Band was known as Nickelback. Upon learning their name for the evening, the Hoodslam Band immediately threatened to walk out on the show. The Hoodslam Band and “Broseph” Joe Brody eventually compromised on “Ticklesack.”
Live commentary by “Broseph” Joe Brody (WWE Tough Enough’s A.J. Kirsch), El Flaco Loco, PONG (Pissed Off Nerdy Gamer) and Coach Joey Nuggs.
- Cereal Man def. Scorpion with the Cereal Buster to become the number one contender for the Best Athlete in the East Bay Award after FONG (F*cking Obese Nerdy Gamer) detained Scorpion’s spear.
- Lights-On, Falls-Count-Anywhere Raven’s Rules match: Shelly Martinez def. “Ultragirl” Brittany Wonder after “Super Barrio Brother” Jesus Cruz hit Brittany Wonder with the No Mames on a pile of gummy bears.
- Booze vs. Blunts Tag Team Grudge Match: The Stoner Brothers (Rick Scott and Scott Rick, representing Stoner U, with “Waterboy” Bobby Burgerhands and Coach Joey Nuggs) def. The Knights of the Roxbury (Anthony Butabi and Johnny “Drinko” Butabi) with the Dab Day Afternoon.
- Prince of Darkness match that became a Russian Chain match that became a Lumberjack match that became a Coalminer’s Glove match to determine the undisputed mayor of Hoodslam: El Flacco Loco def. Doc Atrocity (with United Sideshows and Atrocities) by using the coalminer’s glove to become the undisputed mayor of Hoodslam. He then relinquished the office to the new mayor of Hoodslam – the fans.
- Four-way match for the Golden Gig: Juiced Lee def. “The Mexican Warewolf” El Chupacabra (with Courtney Crimson), Virgil Flynn III and Drugz Bunny with a top-rope moonsault on Drugz Bunny to retain the Golden Gig. Following the match, the James Gang (James C. and Stony Montana) arrived. Stony put the boots to Drugz. James was about to cash in his Dixie Carter Memorial Lethal Lottery Battle Bowl Tag Team Tournament trophy, but Drugz got the upper hand on Stony. Since the bell never rang, James retains his right to challenge anyone, at anytime, in any kind of match.
- 21-and-over (the top rope) battle royal to be the number one contender to the Golden Gig: Johnny “Drinko” Butabi def. Macho Taco, the PB&J Banana, Frank Meyer, Cereal Man, “The Waterboy” Bobby Burgerhands, Stony Montana, Coach Joey Nuggs, Rick-Scott Stoner, PONG (Pissed Off Nerdy Gamer), Ken, FONG (F*cking Obese Nerdy Gamer), Charlie Chaplain, Ryu, “Broseph” Joe Brody, Butternuts, “Super Barrio Brother” Jesus Cruz, “The Russian Lover” Zangief, Bat Manuel, “The Hero of HIGHrule” Link, James C., and Anthony Butabi to become the number one contender for the Golden Gig.
To see this show and previous shows in their entirety, check out www.SmartMarkVideo.com/Hoodslam
Hoodslam runs at the Oakland Metro Opera House every first Friday of the month and will return on Friday, November 7 for 80s for the Ladies III.
Hoodslam is a 21+ event. DON’T BRING YOUR F*CKING KIDS!
Follow Hoodslam on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube, all @Hoodslam.