HoodSlam Francisco: Bright Lights, Gig City (Aug 23) Results

HoodSlam Francisco: Bright Lights, Gig City

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Z Space

San Francisco, CA

Paid attendance: 290


On this night, the Hoodslam Band, from the corner of Taint and Ass-bury, was known as Rice-a-Blow Me: The San Francisco Skeet.


Live commentary by “Broseph” Joe Brody (WWE Tough Enough’s A.J. Kirsch) and one-half of “The Knights of the Roxbury” Jonathan Butabi.


  1. The team of DARK Sheik and “The Russian Lover” Zangief def. the team of Scorpion and the PB&J Banana when Zangief hit a spinning piledriver on the PB&J Banana.


  1. Top of the Skydreamers Miracle eXstacy Cup Round-Robin Tournament Thizz or Die Dance of Destiny Block Party Gauntlet match: El Chupacabra and “The Hero of Time” Link advanced to the semi-finals. I don’t really know how it worked. The winners got points. Math n’ stuff. Basically, it’s Starrcade ’89. Kinda. Whatever. F*ck the fans.


  1. Super Mutant Rockin’ Red Rhino 2099 challenge: Super Mutant Rockin’ Red Rhino 2099 def. Cereal Man with the Rhino Punch.


  1. “Broseph” Joe Brody def. Doc Atrocity via disqualification when Giggles the Clown interfered on Doc’s behalf. The two then assaulted Brody until Pooh Jack arrived and f*cked everyone up.


  1. Golden Gig Championship: Juiced Lee (champion) def. Ken (with Cammy and Cammy’s Ass) with a top-rope moonsault.


  1. Double X Chromosome Challenge: “Ultragirl” Brittany Wonder def. “Wonder Woman” Shelly Martinez with the Butt of Doom in the very first woman-vs-woman match in Hoodslam history.


  1. Main Event: Battle of the Bay II – A best-of-seven World Series tag team match: The Knights of the Roxbury (Jonathan Butabi and Anthony Butabi) def. The Stoner Brothers (Rick-Scott and Scott-Rick, with Coach Joey Nuggs and “Waterboy” Bobby Burgerhands) with a home run that sent Scott-Rick out of the park while Jonathan Butabi was called “safe” as he slid into home (“home” meaning Rick-Scott’s face). The ramifications of the Battle of the Bay II were felt throughout northern California when history was compelled to repeat itself, as a 6.1 earthquake rocked the San Francisco Bay Area at 3:20amPST.


To see this show and previous shows in their entirety, check out www.SmartMarkVideo.com/Hoodslam


Hoodslam runs at the Oakland Metro Opera House every first Friday of the month and will return on Friday, September 5 for “Fanarchy Rulz.”


Hoodslam is a 21+ event. DON’T BRING YOUR F*CKING KIDS!


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