Hoodslam 2: Secret of the Booze (June 13, 2010) Results

We would like to thank the small but lively crowd that joined is in Oakland, California June 13th for HOODSLAM II – THE SECRET OF THE BOOZE. The show started at about 6:30 at the VICTORY WAREHOUSE on 24th St and San Pablo Ave, Oakland CA. Ike Emelio Burner resumed his role as Official HOODSLAM Ring Anouncer, and commentary was done by Master Spliffer and Matt Leplaca! Before the wrestling action Einstye rocked the crowd, and after introducing our referees Peck Woods, El Sparko, and Tobias, HOODSLAM began!

However, before it could truly begin, something had to be done. Ike Emelio Burner informed the crowd of some of the events of the last show, most prominently detailing what took place in regards to the death of Vinny Butabi. After a tag match involving his brothers, The Knights of the Roxbury, Vinny had his heart ripped out of his chest by Juiced Lee. To make matters worse, his dead body was then stolen by Reverend Helfyre. Ike Burner invited the remaining Knights, Anthony Butabi and Johnny “Drinko” Butabi to the ring, so they could hold a funeral for their fallen brother. They shared with the crowd many touching words, many of them offensive and slurred. They sent a shout out to Vinny’s girlfriend Mandy. Johnny “Drinko” even sang an acapella version of “Dust in the Wind” that brought many of the crowd to the point of tears. He also got a surprising amount of the words right. Then Nixxi came to the center of the ring to sing a song that she had written in tribute to the late Vinny Butabi. But before she could start, Reverend Helfyre slid into the ring and clotheslined her in the back of the head! He and the Butabi’s got into a verbal argument about the possession of Vinny’s dead body, which led to an agreement. If the Knights of the Roxbury could beat him in a tag match, he would return the body. Helfyre went backstage to get his partner. He returned carrying his partner to the ring, the deceased body of Vinny Butabi! After dancing around the dead body like a puppet for a few minutes, he threw the limp corpse onto the apron, slumped him over the top rope, and then after tying his arms to the top ropes to keep him from falling, the match was underway.

Helfyre/Vinny Butani’s dead body b. The Knights of the Roxbury (Johnny “Drinko” and Anthony Butabi) –
What took place cannot be described. It was truly a classic, a real tribute to the sport. All the greats would have been proud to see it, from Gotch to Thesz, Hackenschmidt to Jannetty. Halfway through the match, Helfyre gained the upperhand and mysteriously tagged in the dead body, tossing the limp carcass into a heap in the ring. The brothers rejoiced at having the body for their funeral, and “What is Love” rang throughout Oakland once again! Something strange happened then, as the body began to move, and then even dance!…sorta. But thats not all, it could also bite! The reanimated corpse of Vinny Butabi attempted to take chunks out of his own brothers, but they were able to narrowly avoid becoming lunch! In the end, Helfyre pinned Johnny Drinko with the top rope two fingers of terror. Thankfully, Helfyre dragged his monster to the back before any harm could be done, but what has he unleashed upon HOODSLAM?!


Blazer Blaze b. Silent Assassin Jean-Pierre
Blazer Blaze is a newcomer to HOODSLAM, hailing from Gladiator Arena! Before the match could start, an official Gladiator Official had to bring a series of items to the ring. They included a tackle pad, a q-tip shaped beat stick, and an assortment of projectile weapons. Blazer Blaze challenged anyone in the building to take on the Gladiator Challenge. Some crackhead off San Pablo Ave ran into the ring, but was quickly removed, and a real challenge hit the scene! HOODSLAM favorite Jean-Pierre, the Mime from Montreal, silently accepted, and after wooing the crowd with his mimery, the challenge was underway! Again, words cannot describe the level of competition that took place. Both men gave it their all, but after shattering the glass box, Blazer Blaze was able to secure the win, and return to Gladiator Arena victorious!

At this point the crowd participated in a drinking game known as The Six Pack Tag Team Challenge. Two teams of two raced to see who could finish their respective six pack first. A somehow even drunker Knights of the Roxbury hosted the event, and as always at HOODSLAM, the real winners are the fans.

Around here, things got weird. Peanut Butter Jelly Time blared over the arena and a giant banana began running around the ring, dancing on anything and everything, including Ike Burner. After a few moments, the music changed to a more familiar tune of Brass Monkey, and Tokey the Laid-back Gorilla came to the ring, and he had his eyes on the banana! After chasing him around the ring and a brief altercation, the banana was cornered! But out of nowhere he pulled out a baseball bat and began laying it into Tokey! But help was on the way, as the Straight Edge Gorilla Minor Threat the save, and the two gorillas started dazzling the crowd with double team moves on the banana! Just as things were going their way, the music changed again, and two more newcomers to HOODSLAM issued a challenge to the gorillas.

The Stoner Brothers (Rick and Scott Stoner) b. The Pro Wrestling Gorillas (Minor Threat and Tokey the Laid-back Gorilla)
This match was tag team action at its finest. It was back and forth action, but the turning point must have been when Tokey was being tortured in a camel clutch. Minor Threat ran into the ring, but instead of making the save began imitate what he saw. The Stoner Brothers were able to get the win after a gorilla press to a knee, but one would think that his rivalry has only just begun.

Christina Von Eerie b. Sheik Khan Abadi
This match was intense, but Christina was able to decisively defeat the Sheik and pin him for the three count. Afterwords, Sheik got on the microphone and told those in the crowd that this was Christina’s last match in the USA before going on tour with AAA in Mexico. He said that he was honored to wrestle her last, and the crowd clapped for Christina and cheered her name. After hugging, the Sheik said he had one more thing to say. “You stupid f*****g b***h.” He began to assault her and whine that it was him who had been in the business longer, and him that deserved a contract, and that it was “bulls**t” that she was going anywhere because she didn’t deserve anything. After throwing her out of the ring, he turned to face the angry crowd. Just then, Helfyre and Zombie Vinny Butabi hit the ring, and the Sheik was bit by Butabi! As he faded away, Helfyre threw him over his shoulder, and carried Sheik and Zombie Vinny off.

Juiced Lee Open Invitational
Juiced Lee had sent an open invite to all challengers, and he swore to defeat them all. First, he defeated the Giant Banana, KOing him in minutes. Then, he pulled the spin out of Uno bit by bit. Next the Stoner Brothers challenged him at the same time, and he devastated both with double two inch punches that sent them sailing. As he set readied himself to finish them, Steven Segall hit the ring, and snapped both their necks. Referee Peck Woods tried to interject, but he then had his neck snapped as well. He got on the mic, and informed the crowd that he was not an actor, he was an officer of the law for many years. And that what he did was REAL karate. As the two face off and began to have a “Real Martial Arts Battle” Helfyre and Zombie Vinny hit the ring again! The two were able to fight them off, but neither saw Zombie Sheik sneak up behind Steven Segall and take a chunk out of the back of his neck! Juiced Lee for once in his life looked startled and left the ring as Reverend Helfyre, Zombie Vinny, and Zombie Sheik made off with Steven Segall’s body.

At this point another drinking game was held, the 4 corner challenge! It was hosted by two HOODSLAM favorites Otis the Gimp and Rasta Mysterio! It was going along smoothly, but it was interrupted by Nor Cal Wrestling Legend CJAY Kurze! He explained that he’d been in this business a long time, and thought that what he’d seen tonight was the absolute worst. He said the wrestling was garbage, the drug abuse was rampant, and everything about it was disrespectful to the business. He said that he sided with the .E.A. and had accepted a deal to partner up with them against Otis and Rasta in the main event! The head of the D.E.A. came to the ring, and once Main Event Special Guest Referee Winnie the Pooh had made his way to the ring, the Main Event was underway!

Otis the Gimp/Rasta Mysterio went to a no contest with D.E.A./CJAY Kurze
This match was wild and out of control from the start. It was a brawl of epic proportions, that even saw Referee Winnie the Pooh accidentally get hit and go down hard! Though there was no official winner, at the end Rasta Mysterio and Otis the Gimp stood tall, and forced the D.E.A. agent to smoke against his will with the use of a gas mask bong!

Much happened HOODSLAM II – SECRET OF THE BOOZE, and we would like to thank those that showed to support the event. However, its very clear that not many people saw it, and because of this we’ve come up with something special. For our next event, August 22nd at the Victory Warehouse in Oakland, CA we present SUPER HOODSLAM II TURBO: CHAMPIONSHIP EDITION. We hope that you can make it, and would like to thank everyone who helped with this event. Stay tuned here, at myspace.com/oaklandhoodslam, and get ready for many more ways to experience HOODSLAM on the net!

August 22nd, 6:00 PM
24th St and San Pablo Ave, Oakland CA