It’s been a difficult path to the 11th annual Fuck the Fans [our apologies to 2020 and 2021]. The first one took place on 10/10/2010 and was seen as the turning point in this humble companys existence. It was on this day that we realized what it truly meant to Fuck the Fans.
Traditionally, the winner of August Battle Royal of Supremacy would gain booking rights to the event. As most of us are petty and would only include matches to punish our direct enemies, an annual Rumble was included so nobody felt left out.
James C had won the honor of his faction hosting Fuck the Fans this year, but in an unheard of turn of events, The BOOM Gang gambled their rights away and lost them to Matt Carlos, Joe DeSoul and Lara Frazier [ The Lost Treasures].
The Treasures have made no friends when it comes to match-making. They’ve created some interesting bouts, including forcing the New F’n Dawgs to exemplify the dog-eat-dog world of Hoodslam.
Cereal Man v Jaguar Montoya w/Special Referee Joey Gonzo
Jaguar Montoya and Joey Gonzo had thought that they had found a mentor in Cereal Man, but it turns out he was never there for them in their eyes. Perhaps a point proven when he admitted he didn’t know who was who among them. Jaguar feels further slighted as he is of a feline persuasion, and being a New Dawg is confusing for him in marketing purposes. Joey Gonzo, though sympathetic with his shared plight, is hurt that neither Jaguar or Cereal Man ever asked him how he felt. Now, the Lost Treasures have made them confront all these feelings and Mega New F’N Power Dawgs implode.
The Lost Treasures didn’t stop there, though. They further explored their depths of retribution by pitting two of their recent enemies against each other in an iconoclastic bout. The CAUTION and Stoner Brothers had long been their rivals in the Tag division, and as Tag Team Champions they’ve had more than a few run ins with both. Adding Lara Fraziers disdain for Vipress and the general antagonizing demeaner of James C, a most cruel conclusion arose.
Anton Voorhees/DARK Sheik/Vipress v. Scott Stoner/Rick Stoner/James C – Whoever is pinned must join the other faction
This has led to some questions. DARK Sheik has recently abandoned her team, and James C may be too injured to compete. What fate awaits these two force?
Not forgetting about themselves, The Lost Treasures did magnanimously decide that they would defend their Intergalactic Tag Team Championship. But they didn’t say which two of them would do it. In fact, since they book the show, they don’t really have to play fair and pick only two at all. That said…
The EMO HEADS v The Lost Treasures v Da Squaaad – Intergalactic Tag Team Championship
We are aware that the state of Alpha Zo is in question after he was assaulted by the EMO Heads at Lonely Are the Hunted. This gives two teams a potential numbers advantage. But, the Lost Treasures are the ones who make the rules, and the only ones who truly know the game. What are they up to, yknow?
Sawyer Wreck defending the Best Athlete in the East Bay Award Double Golden Fannypacks Championship against someone, maybe
It’s been floated around. We’ll see what lands.
The 20ish* ENTITY Royal Rumble of Ranking Ramifications
The annual event returns, with the winner promised a match against Vipress at 11/3/23 in her first official defense of the Golden GiG. The match starts with two random competitors in the ring. Every 90 seconds-3minutes, depending on the spot, another entrant enters the ring. Competitors are eliminated by being thrown over the top rope and both feet hitting the floor [in the case of Hop Daddy, elimination occurs when one foot makes contact, as described under the pretext of Harry’s Law]. When one is left standing, a winner is declared.
Usually it’s 30 people, but like 10 of us died between March and July. And it’s rude to bring it up, so don’t.
Fuck the Fans 2023 is October 6th, live on the godamn streets of Oakland, in conjunction with the Oakland Metro Operahouse, and available for live streaming with a FITE+ monthly subscription on FITE TV.