The Golden Gig Champion

The most glorious title in all of wrestling, no mere belt could hold its wonder.  The Golden Gig, forged from solid gold and the souls of a thousand wrestlers, is the end all be all in Hoodslam, the top of the ladder which we all climb.  It’s power is to great to defend annually, however, and it is currently the only Championship Hoodslam defends on a regular basis.

October 7th, 2011 – Johnny Drinko Butabi won a Royal Rumble to become the first Golden Gig Champion. Nearly every Hoodslammer took part in the match, a thirty man Royal Rumble.  The winner was a surprise entrant, Johnny Drinko Butabi, who used his Jeff Hardy Memorial Tag Team Tournament Battlebowl Championship to enter as entrant 31.

January 6th, 2012 – RYU defeated Johnny Drinko Butabi. RYU, having earned the right to challenge for the Golden Gig by becoming the Street Fighter Tournament, would take on Johnny Drinko Butabi, the champion of Hoodslam. Drinko has never actually beaten an opponent by pinfall or submission, and his only wins at Hoodslam come from battle royal style matches or by referee’s decision. However, he mustered the full multitude of his savvy, and proved why he wears the headband of intelligence. These two fought across the building as well, and even the Oakland Metro could not hold the fury of this bout! The two battled back to the ring, and referee El Sparko, the victim of accidental contact, was left incapacitated. Zangief took this time to interfere behind the referee’s back, despite that their are no real rules in Hoodslam. He delivered a dome crushing piledriver to Drinko, and all hope was lost, but then Anthony Butabi emerged from the locker room and crowd gave him a lionus roar of approval! He laid waste to Zangief, and began to help his brother back to his feet, but Cammey ran into the ring and punched him in the dick. The three street fighters began to attack Drinko once more, but then POOH JACK, with his honeypot full of weapons, fucked shit up. He and Zangief, who hates bears, brawled to the backstage area, and once more we were left with RYU and Drinko, face to face. The two charged, exchanged a flurry of offense, and Drinko got the advantage, holding RYU down for the pin! But then Pink Panther, the Official Senior Official, did that thing he did, and RYU became the Golden Gig Champion of Hoodslam.

March 2nd, 2012 – GUILE defeated RYU in a 2/3 falls Streetfighter match. As per stipulation of Johnny Cage and Eddie Gordo’s victory, team CAPCOM was banned from ringside for this match.  RYU was not deterred however, and his confidence was clear.  GUILE, earning the right to challenge RYU after pinning him a month earlier in a tag match, looked prepared as well, and the two embarked on an athletic journey that changed both of them irrevocably.  These two battled head on in the ring, and the result was electric.  As is Street Fighter rules, one must secure two victories against his opponent to be declared the victor.  RYU scored one early, and looked like he might sweep GUILE clean in the match.  But he persevered, and the USA chants from the crowd must have fired him up, as he came back not just for another fall, but for two straight falls, winning the Golden Gig!

April 6th, 2012 – Super Tiger, Rasta Mysterio, and Anthony Butabi defeated Guile – (Grand Master G would join the group and also defend the Golden Gig later on) Rasta Mysterio, missing from action in recent months, rushed the ring and attacked Guile. Soon Super Tiger and Anthony Butabi, being led by the Pink Panther, made their way to the ring and things became clear.  Pink Panther stated that Rasta had also felt overlooked, and all of that was going to change.  Super Tiger would use his prize right then, and challenge Guile to the match he wanted, a 3 on 1 Golden Gig Championship match.  Guile, though weary from battle, had no choice but to accept, and started by kicking the smirk off of Pink Panthers face.  He would kick all three opponents as well, and briefly seemed to be on his way to victory.  But the sheer numbers and weight finally became to much, and after a multitude of tandem offense, all 800+ pounds of Anthony Butabi, Super Tiger, and Rasta Mysterio pinned the American hero to the mat, and declared themselves ALL the Champions of the Golden Gig.  Panther would recover, and despite all the pain and grief of the evening, the self proclaimed “under appreciated” now found themselves at the top of the HOODSLAM mountain.


July 6th, 2012 – James, Stoney Montana, and Drugz Bunny defeated Rasta Mysterio, Grand Master G, and Anthony Butabi

November 2nd, 2012 – Rik Scott Stoner defeated James, proclaiming himself and Scott Rik Stoner both champion. After much interference from Stoney and Drugz, Scott Rik Stoner came to the aid of his brother- Despite having feuded with him since January of this year.  With the referee distracted and slightly blinded by a cloud of cocaine, Scott Rik was able to pin James despite not being in the match, and was awarded the Golden Gig.  He would then reunite with his twin brother, and the Stoner Brothers held the Gig high as a duo. Their undeniable grappling expertise and hunger for marijuana allowed The Stoner Bros to maintain a championship run that left their opponents in a heap of broken bones and rolling papers. This brought recognition of the Golden Gig as the most sought after title above all others.


December 7th, 2012 – Scott Rik and Rik Scott Stoner defeated James and Drugz Bunny of the James Gang, Anthony and Johnny Drinko Butabi (The Knights of the Roxbury), and Mr Hoodslam II and Super Tiger (of the Panther Party) in a four corners tag match.

January 25th, 2013 – The Stoner Brothers (Scott Rik Stoner and Rik Scott Stoner) successfully defended against Planet Rock (B-Boy and Boombox, w/Soundwave).

January 26th, 2013 – The Stoner Brothers (Rik Scott Stoner and Scott Rik Stoner) successfully defended in a fourway tag featuring “The Super BFF Connection” (Bat-Shelly Martinez and Super-Amber O Neal), “Silent But Deadly” (Jean Pierre and Charlie Chaplin), and “The Shotokan Dojo” (Ryu and Ken).

Febuary 1st, 2013 – Stoner Bros. (Rick-Scott & Scott-Rick) d. Freak Squad (Dom Vitalli & Gabriel Gallo) to retain the Gig.

March 1st, 2013 –  The Stoner Brothers:Rick-Scott and Scott-Rick defeated Dark Sheik and Juiced Lee with the Rizz Bomb on Dark Sheik and retained the Golden Gig.

April 1st, 2013 – Stoner Bros (Scott Rick and Rick Scott Stoner) def Knights of the Roxbury (Anthony and Johnny Drinko Butabi) to retain the Golden Gig.

April 5th, 2013 – The Stoner Brothers (Rick-Scott and Scott-Rick) def. Pooh Jack/ECW Original Mustafa Saed when the Stoner Brothers hit the Rizz Bomb on Pooh Jack with Pooh Jack stuffed inside a garbage can.

May 3rd, 2013 – Stoner Brothers (Rick-Scott & Scott-Rick) defeated the Ballard Brothers (Shane & Shannon) with the Rizz Bomb to retain the Golden Gig in a Identical Twin Tag Team Trial of Terror match.

August 16th, 2013 – The Stoner Bros vs James Gang went to a FTF finish when half the locker room ran in and then Pooh Jack and the Stoners basically beat up everyone in the end. Stoners retain the GIG.

September 6th, 2013 – Juiced Lee & returning DARK Sheik beat The Stoner Brothers after a top-rope moonsault from Juiced Lee to become the new Golden Gig Champions in an impromptu match. No one could stop a team consisting of a scary zombie and a martial arts master who eats thumbtacks.


October 4th, 2013 – Tag team match for the Golden Gig: the team of DARK Sheik and JUICED Lee def. The James Gang (Drugz Bunny and James C.) via pinfall with a tandem top-rope splash/leg-drop on Drugz Bunny.

November 1st, 2013 – Dark Sheik & Juiced Lee defeated “Ultra Girl” Brittany Wonder & PBJ Banana.

December 6th, 2013 – Dark Sheik & Juiced Lee beat The Stoner Brothers (Rick-Scott Stoner & Scott-Rick Stoner) with a top-rope splash/leg-drop combo.

December 20th, 2013 – Juiced Lee defeated James to defend the Golden Gig, while coholder Dark Sheik refused to defend the Golden Gig.

February 7th, 2014 – DARK Sheik and Juiced Lee def. Team Game Over (PONG [Pissed Off Nerdy Gamer] and FONG [Fucking Obese Nerdy Gamer]) when DARK Sheik hit the Dirty Bomb on FONG to retain the Golden Gig.

March 7th, 2014 – DARK Sheik & Juiced Lee beat The Knights of the Roxbury (Johnny Drinko Butabi & Anthony Butabi) when Juiced Lee hit a springboard moonsault on Anthony Butabi to retain the Golden Gig.

April 4th, 2014 – Juiced Lee (co-holder of the Golden Gig) beat DARK Sheik (co-holder of the Golden Gig) with a top-rope moonsault to become the undisputed Golden Gig Champion.

May 2nd, 2014 – Juiced Lee beat Sub-Zero (w/Princess Kitana and Queen Sindel) with a top-rope moonsault to retain the Golden Gig Championship.

June 6th, 2014 – Juiced Lee beat P.O.N.G. (Pissed Off Nerdy Gamer) and Bat Manuel in a three-way match for the Golden Gig when Juiced Lee hit a top-rope moonsault with a Mario Kart spiked turtle shell strapped to his chest.

July 4th, 2014 – Juiced Lee defeated Batmanuel with a top rope moonsault.

August 1st, 2014 – Four-way match for the Golden Gig: Juiced Lee (champion) def. Ken, Cereal Man, and “Laser Focused” Famous B when Lee hit a top-rope moonsault on Ken to retain the Golden Gig.

August 23rd, 2014 – Juiced Lee (champion) def. Ken (with Cammy and Cammy’s Ass) with a top-rope moonsault.

September 5th, 2014 – Juiced Lee beat Pooh Jack after a brainbuster on a pile of weapons to retain.

October 3rd. 2014 – Four-way match for the Golden Gig: Juiced Lee def. “The Mexican Warewolf” El Chupacabra (with Courtney Crimson), Virgil Flynn III and Drugz Bunny with a top-rope moonsault on Drugz Bunny to retain the Golden Gig.

December 5th, 2014 – Golden Gig: Juiced Lee beat Johnny “Drinko” Butabi with a moonsault off the top rope to retain the Golden Gig.

February 6, 2015 – James C. defeats Juiced Lee after cashing in his Dixie Carter Memorial Lethal Lottery Battle Bowl Tag Team Tournament trophy.