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Ultimate Hoodslam v. CAPCOM 3: FTFate of two Worlds (January 6, 2012) Results

January 6th, Oakland Metro

The show began with its usual glory and wonder. The band, Taint Thinner, played an inspiring rendition of the main theme to the film Terminator 2, as Ike Burner made his entrance whilst climbing the ladder in an awkward yet stoic fashion. He introduced us to our commentary team, the JuggalOG Kevin Gill and should be Tough Enough Winner AJ Kirsch, and we got things going!

Johnny Cage was the first to make an entrance this Hoodslam, and he was a bit peeved. After sharing some disparaging words with the audience, the quickly turned from emoting feelings of adoration to vulgar disdain. However, he was respectably unfettered until the familiar drum of Bill Coldbeer’s music filled the Opera house like so much Marijuana smoke. The chants of Coldbeer soon followed, and then the man himself appeared to a gladiators welcome. The two warriors locked horns, and after hitting a scrotum shattering split punch, Johnny Cage seemed to have victory at hand! He tested his might, but soon found that Coldbeer was mighty mighty himself, and in the end Cage was defeated with the Spear and Jackhammer!

COLDBEER defeated JOHNNY CAGE

The James Gang then made their way to the ring, as Drugs Bunny was set to take on Lucha Magnifico! Fellow members Stoney Montana and James watched from ringside as Lucha and Drugs made quick work of zig zagging and flip’n flying across the ring. Lucha Magnifico’s lucha libre expertise is usually enough to blow up the swiftest of athletes, but the cocaine and amphetamine infused adrenal glands of Drugs Bunny (coupled with stereotypically fast bunny speed) allowed the James Gang member to keep up with his mexican adversary! Drugs continued to impress in his first solo Hoodslam match, but Lucha would rally back and seem to have victory in his grasp, but Stoney Montana seized the opportunity to cheat. When the time was right, he threw a handful of cocaine into the masked face of Lucha Magnifico, temporarily leaving him disoriented and feeling awesome. Drugs was able to capitalize, and defeated the luchador with his signature Cokeslam.

DRUGS BUNNY defeated LUCHA MAGNIFICO

James then took this time to call out Villano 420 to the ring. See, he was mad, see, ’cause Villano 420 attacked James last event and cut the sacred dreads from the old school gangsters head. The James Gang has made it their goal to crush Villano 420 since then, but have pretty much hated everyone in a mask. The music of the Villano Crime Family answered his call, but only Super Red Rhino 2099, the right hand man and best friend of Villano 420 emerged. He brought news, which had to be interpeted by the OG Kevin Gill and AJ Kirsch (tough enough). The news was this: Villano 420 could not fight this fight, for the Don Villano, founder of the Villano Crime Family, had recalled him to Mexico. No other information is available at this time, but it was visible that Super Red Rhino 2099 was just as surprised and clearly depressed about the turn of events. As he left, James continued to bad mouth Villano 420, and the Crime Family. The wild cybernetic Super Red Rhino 2099 eventually heard enough, and charged back into the ring to attack all three. He put up a valiant effort, and seemed to have Stoney Montana and Drugs Bunny nullified, but it was at that moment that James struck, and the effects were effective.

JAMES, STONEY MONTANA, & DRUGS BUNNY defeated SUPER RED RHINO 2099

The next match was a battle of respect. The Street Fighters had come back to Hoodslam, and had won the December Street Fighter Tournament in a very strong showing. Now they wanted to rub it in, and try and add insult to the defeat. RYU, BLANKA, CAMMEY, ZANGIEF, & MEGA MAN have formed this new CAPCOM coallition, and they began with some rough words. First, RYU verbally attacked his opponent JOHNNY DRINKO BUTABI, who he would challenge in the main event for the GOLDEN GIG (a right he earned by winning the Street Fighter Tournament). As Mega Man noddingly approved his every word, the music of the HOODSLAMMERS hit, and the match was soon underway! Otis the Gimp, Juiced Lee, and wise and all knowing Banana fought Zangief, Blanka, and Mega Man in about an exciting a match as one could imagine! The fans, despite no-doubt being sore from all the fucking, were exceptionally audible, and this three on three elimination match did not leave them wanting! The CAPCOM rules proved to be no learning curve for the aerially amazing Juiced Lee, the sexually deviant Otis the Gimp, nor the soft in body but hard in spirit Banana, and team Hoodslam brought home the “W”! (win, for those of you who don’t read the sports page)

JUICED LEE, OTIS THE GIMP, BANANA defeated ZANGIEF, BLANKA, & MEGA MAN

Following the excitement that everyone just shared, you’d think everyone would be elated for the HOODSLAM win! But there were at least FOUR people upset, the first to vocally express it was Anthony Butabi! Despite being a fan favorite, and part of the legendary Butabi wrestling family, he had seen better days. He wasn’t upset that Hoodslam won, he was upset that he wasn’t involved. Much like the show before, when he wasn’t involved in the Street Fighter Tournament. Rasta Mysterio made his way to the ring, and expressed similar remorse. The two have also been depressed when they both learned that neither of them were the father of the baby they had both fought vicious battles for. Without family or work, both were left empty. This is when Sal Lundy and Grand Master G, the feminist hating members of the group No Ma’am, made their entrance. They couldn’t believe what they were hearing, two men crying about a woman, about a baby, blah blah blah they said! Words were exchanged, their was a raising of the ire, and soon the match was on.

NO MA’AM defeated ANTHONY BUTABI & RASTA MYSTERIO

The match was competitive, but the team of Rasta and Anthony were no match for No Ma’am, who truly worked as family. After being defeated, No Ma’am sent a message out to Hoodslam of their own! They also were upset about being left out of the big picture, being skipped over, being looked over, and they sent a challenge to any Hoodslammer in the back who wanted to try and take their spot! The challenge was soon answered.

COLDBEER defeated NO MA’AM

The chants were only louder this time, the entrance more epic. No Ma’am, perhaps exhausted from just competing, never could get on the same page, and Coldbeer was able to take a quick win and extend his undefeated streak. After the match, Grand Master G swore revenge, said that No Ma’am would only come back meaner and stronger. But when he looked to Sal Lundy for further plans, Sal had nothing to say. Finally, after Grand Master G badgered him enough, he said simply, softly, and a bit sadly, that he would go home, and go sell some shoes. He left the ring, grabbed his things, and left. Thus far, no word has been heard of either members of No Ma’am.

The next match came out of the gate and didn’t stop till the three count. DARK Sheik took on James of the James Gang. James was looking to avenge his only loss in Hoodslam, a loss he blames primarily on Villano 420′s interference. But in an attempt to savor the name of his gang, he challenged the Sheik one on one. Stoney Montana and Drugs Bunny were of course close by, and when the opportunity arose the two would attack viciously. The DARK Sheik, now twice dead, fought back as one would expect from that type (you know…foreigners). The two were unleashing some serious violence in the ring, but the decider was the crazy ass piledriver that James was able to hit DARK Sheik with. He was able to pick up a convincing win, and avenge his only loss in the Hoodslam records.

JAMES defeated DARK SHEIK

Next up, Francine DEAD! One of our favorite performers, and one we ask to come back because its what the people want! I could go on and on about the sexy curves, the dangerous fire, the hypnotizing movements…but if you’re not there, you just don’t know. And you’ll die sad. So sad. Thanks to her, check out Francine DEAD on facebook and see if maybe you can make your life mean something again.

After that bunch of awesome, a familiar cast came to the ring. Doc Atrocity, Zombie Gorilla Vinny Butabi, Mathea II, their baby, and a nurse filled the landscape and addressed the crowd. Mathea II was upset with the turn of events that have led to her zombie two headed baby being somewhat fatherless. Zombie Vinny, who fathered the baby of Mathea II while she was also banging Rasta Mysterio and the living members of his adopted family Anthony and Johnny Drinko Butabi, has had some rough luck lately. We all know about how after becoming the adopted brother of the Butabi’s he had his heart ripped out by Juiced Lee and then was turned into a zombie by Reverend Helfyre. But after fathering a child, he was injected with some green stuff Doc Atrocity came up with that made him tame enough to be the Doc’s tag partner, which led to a battle with intergalactic aliens Lobstron the Decimator and Gworlok the Obliterator last November. After defeating them, they were crowned the new intergalactic space tag team champions of the galaxy or something. But their belts were breathing and making noises, so they relinquished them. In the process, Zombie Vinny accidentally hatched one of the eggs on the title, which hatched a alien baby something that latched onto his face, then the scurried off somewhere into the Metro Operahouse. Zombie Vinny, now infected with an alien virus threatening to destroy his body, had his brain switched with that of a gorilla. The gorilla body with a zombie-alien diseased brain is…somewhere, i guess…but the decaying carcass of Zombie Vinny Butabi, now with an alien free gorilla brain, is now what Doc Atrocity has been dragging around, and is what’s left to raise the child of Mathea II. So that’s why she’s angry at Doc. The zombie gorilla vinny thing was angry at Doc. Doc could not please either, and as Mathea II stormed off with the baby, Zombie Vinny Gorillafuck must have felt some paternal remnants, for his anger at his inability to be a father turned into hate for Doc Atrocity, and the two did battle.

And it was quite a battle. Although the two had teamed for the past four months, it was apparent that their friendship was tenuous at best! The two fought tooth and nail across the entire metro, including a special barely seen brawl in the bathroom! In the end, it appeared that Doc Atrocity had the battle won, but as is tradition in Hoodslam, there was a twist! While attempting to light a table on fire in the ring, Doc Atrocity took his eyes off his opponent, and Vinny was able to surprise him with a chokeslam through a somewhat fiery table, and surprisingly defeat the twisted Doctor!

GORILLA ZOMBIE VINNY BUTABI defeated DOC ATROCITY

Once the carnage had been cleared, the Stoner Bros made their way to the ring, reunited. They explained to the crowd that they had been having issues as a team, but they attributed the problems to the poor leadership of Villano 420. Now they they had left the Villano Crime Family, they were ready to move forward and get back to doing what they do best: smoking blunts and kicking ass. They were interrupted by the lyrical leprachaun from the hoodslam HORNSWAGGER, and through the magic of poetry and prose, he rapped to them that he would be taking them on tonight in a tag match! And that his partner was no stranger to the Stoner Brothers, as they were the ones to lock him in a crate back in November’s Thanksgigging Beatings: The Man with the Golden Gig event! Hornswagger had found this confused and angered beast, and upon releasing him the two agreed to take on the twin concussion machines. The band started the song, Courtney Crimson pulled the leash, and El Chupacabra made his return to Hoodslam!

And what a return it was! These four had one of the most physically breath taking matches in the history of ever, including a 12 foot moonsault off the balcony of the Metro! After taking it to the Stoners, the twins eventually got the upperhand, as they always do, with their almost telepathic communication abilities! When they felt the time was right, they went for the most devestating maneuver in hoodslam, the RIZZ BOMB, but upon hitting it on El Chupacabra, Hornswagger was able to capitalize, and snuck a win away for his team!

EL CHUPACABRA & HORNSWAGGER defeated THE STONER BROTHERS

After the match, Scott Rick Stoner (the Bloodslam Bloodking) was verbally abusive to his brother, Rick Scott. He wondered out loud if maybe it WASN’T Villano 420 fucking up, but maybe his own brother. Since October, and the inception of the Golden Gig, Scott Rick has made it a personal quest to win the prize and prove his superiority over the rest of the roster. His frustration to achieve his goal has grown in the passing months, and it truly erupted in front of us, as for the first time he challenged his own brother to a match. The crowd was in a frenzy to see these two do battle, but Rick Scott would have none of it. In the end, a frustrated Scott Rick was left in the ring with only his anger.

Our next bout was the MAIN EVENNNNNTTTT OF THE EVVVVEEENING. RYU, having earned the right to challenge for the Golden Gig by becoming the Street Fighter Tournament, would take on Johnny Drinko Butabi, the champion of Hoodslam. Drinko has never actually beaten an opponent by pinfall or submission, and his only wins at Hoodslam come from battle royal style matches or by referee’s decision. However, he mustered the full multitude of his savvy, and proved why he wears the headband of intelligence. These two fought across the building as well, and even the Oakland Metro could not hold the fury of this bout! The two battled back to the ring, and referee El Sparko, the victim of accidental contact, was left incapacitated. Zangief took this time to interfere behind the referee’s back, despite that their are no real rules in Hoodslam. He delivered a dome crushing piledriver to Drinko, and all hope was lost, but then Anthony Butabi emerged from the locker room and crowd gave him a lionus roar of approval! He laid waste to Zangief, and began to help his brother back to his feet, but Cammey ran into the ring and punched him in the dick. The three street fighters began to attack Drinko once more, but then POOH JACK, with his honeypot full of weapons, fucked shit up. He and Zangief, who hates bears, brawled to the backstage area, and once more we were left with RYU and Drinko, face to face. The two charged, exchanged a flurry of offense, and Drinko got the advantage, holding RYU down for the pin! But then Pink Panther, the Official Senior Official, did that thing he did, and RYU became the Golden Gig Champion of Hoodslam. I’d write what he did, but you probably should have just bought a ticket.

Hoodslam, sad that CAPCOM emerged victorious and is now in possession of the Golden Gig, is still optimistic for the future. The next show is February 3rd, the first friday of the month, and Hoodslam will continue to be the first friday of every month until never. We would like to thank all the performers, the fans, the Oakland Metro, Francine Dead, Displayed Labors Sideshow, Devil Mountain Wrestling in Martinez, SlammedFan (which is on facebook/twitter/etc!), and everyone else who made this great event possible.

www.birdswillfall.com
hoodslam@gmail.com
donotbringyourfnkids !

Results

HOODSLAM V CAPCOM 2: Fuck the Fans ALPHA (Oct 10, 2010) Results

HOODSLAM V. CAPCOM 2: F*ck the Fans ALPHA
10/10/10
VICTORY WAREHOUSE
OAKLAND, CA
(dontbringyourfnkids)

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Commentary – Kevin Gill
Ring Announcer – Ike Emilio Burner
Music – Einstye
Referees – Senior Official Winnie the Pooh, Pink Panther, El Sparko, Steven Segall, Junior Official Scooter Anderson (rip)
Paramedic – Paramedic Jess
Jew Lawyer – Gordy Bombstein

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As always, HOODSLAM would like to thank all the fans who came and supported us for our fourth show. The amazing crowd of around 100 loud and energetic people definitely set the mood for the night and only got more electrifying all the way to the end of the show! Everyone involved with HOODSLAM sincerely give their deepest appreciation to everyone who attended HOODSLAM V. CAPCOM 2: F*ck the Fans ALPHA!

HOODSLAM would also like to put over the performers at this event, as everyone involved in the show helped put on what has been called not only the greatest HOODSLAM ever, but the event of the year!

The show began with music from EINSTYE and the welcomed return of Ike Emilio Burner. Unfortunately, he returned with very grave news from the future. In the year 20XX, the CAPCOM fighters had taken over the world. The only way to save the future, was for someone to do something in the past…or something…it’s difficult to remember.

The first match of the evening saw the debut of Referee Scooter Anderson. This was his first debut actually, as it was his first day out of referee academy, which he apparently didn’t learn very much at.

1. ZOMBIE VINNY BUTABI defeated GOTHO THE BI-POLAR CLOWN to win Portland Wrestling Pacific Northwest Heritage Heavyweight Championship Title Match
Gotho the Bipolar Clown is a newcomer to Hoodslam, and his sometimes adventurous personality mixed violent mood swings seemed to be a good match against the original undead disco warrior Zombie Vinny Butabi. Vinny himself, as the only member of the Butabi’s to have won a match since Hoodslam 0: The Prequel, seemed to have deteriorated physically since his last appearance. At one point Gotho seemed to have won the match, but the overly inept Junior Referee Scooter Anderson couldn’t seem to remember how to count to three, or even hit the mat. In the end, Zombie Vinny Butabi added his name to the storied lineage of this legendary title, and became the new champion.

After the match, Zombie Vinny Butabi attacked the first day referee, and pulled his intestines out from his stomach and chewed threw his guts. He then dove over the top rope and left them strewn across a side of the ring for a portion of the rest of the show.

2. JUVENTUD ETERNIA y MANTIZ wrestled to a draw against GLADIATOR EXTREME y NEGRON
This was another example of the lucha libre influence strong in Oakland, and strong at HOODSLAM! The two teams battled back and forth in a war of attrition, but in the end REFEREE STEVEN SEGALL called for the bell, then snapped the necks of all four participants.
At this point LUCHA MAGNIFICO came to the ring for his scheduled match against VILLANO 420. The two have fought for years across the world and now in OAKLAND, once at SUPER HOODSLAM II TURBO: CHAMPIONSHIP EDITION last august, and once on 10/07/2010 at TOURETTES WITHOUT REGRETS at the Oakland Metro in a no ring Falls Count Anywhere match! VILLANO 420 made his entrance, but quickly got on the microphone and said that he was injured at Tourettes without Regrets when LUCHA MAGNIFICO dove off the upper balcony and cross bodied him at the end of the match. He had prepared a replacement though, and the match would happen right now.

3. LUCHA MAGNIFCO wrestled to a draw against SHINOBI
These two masked magicians of the mat mustered a mighty match for mere moments, but it was soon interrupted by RYU of Capcom, and he had some words to say. Namely, that he and the DEA had defeated HOODSLAM at the last show, and due to the stipulation they controlled this HOODSLAM event (thus the name F*ck the Fans ALPHA). Also, since he was in control, this match would now be changed. Lucha Magnifico and Shinobi would now be partners in a tag match, against legendary tag team Rick Scott and Scott Rick, the STONER BROTHERS

4. THE STONER BROTHERS defeated LUCHA MAGNIFICO/SHINOBI
Shinobi started the match with one of the twin brothers, and had a back and forth game of cat and mouse, showing off some wrestling ability. The Stoner Brothers, by the way, never stopped smoking twin blunts during the match, on the apron AND in the ring. Lucha Magnifico entered the ring, and was quickly over powered. After being thrown across the ring, and then into the metal ring post, the match was over.

After the match, PARAMEDIC JESS helped awake the unconscious luchador with minimal success. Shinobi covered him, and REFEREE EL SPARKO made the count in the impromptu match. Then Ryu and the Street Fighters made their way to the stage, and called out the KNIGHTS OF THE ROXBURY. As they entered the ring, RYU explained to them that they would be in a 3 on 3 Tag Team Elimination Match against the CAPCOM warriors RYU, SAGAT, and BALROG! Their partner would be of RYU’s choosing, and he decided on the barely conscious and still staggering to the back LUCHA MAGNIFICO.

5. RYU/BALROG/SAGAT defeated JOHNNY DRINKO BUTABI/ANTHONY BUTABI/LUCHA MAGNIFICO
The Knights of the Roxbury fought like never before, despite fighting incredible odds. Wrestling a virtual handicap match due to Lucha Magnifico not even standing up yet, the two on three numbers eventually caught up to the Hoodslam legends, and ANTHONY BUTABI was eliminated first after being horribly bloodied, and taking a vicious kick from RYU. Soon after, JOHNNY DRINKO BUTABI fell victim to an atom shattering TIGER UPPERCUT from SAGAT, and only Lucha Magnifico was left on the team. Things looked bleak, but Lucha Magnifico was able to make a quick comeback and eliminate SAGAT from the team. He made a valiant effort against BALROG, but with the assistance of CAMMY Ryu was able to dispatch of Lucha Magnifico with little difficulty.

At this time HOODSLAM had its first intermission, which featured a performance by PATRICIA MISERY and MISS PRICK. Its hard to describe what really happened in their set, but it involved blood, knives, removal of clothing, and much more that can’t be mentioned here. We encourage everyone of age to visit the HOODSLAM facebook and view the link, or look it up on youtube.

After intermission, RYU came to the ring and once again expressed his anger at SAGAT being defeated by a HOODSLAM wrestler. He proclaimed that since CAPCOM and DEA were in charge of booking the show, he would make a match now where SAGAT would face anyone from the locker room that HOODSLAM chose as a punishment to Sagat.

6. JUICED LEE defeated SAGAT
HOODSLAM took advantage of this free pass, and chose a definite number one pick with the returning JUICED LEE! The crowd was in excitement, but RYU had never seen JUICED LEE before and was not impressed at first. This soon changed, as shortly after schooling SAGAT in the ways of the dragon, he reached into his skull and removed his remaining eye from his head.
7. JUICED LEE defeated BALROG
RYU said that Juiced Lee had cheated, and would face another opponent. After some hesitation, BALROG entered the ring. His educated hands were no match for JUICED LEE though, and it looked like BALROG would soon be maimed as well. Before JUICED LEE could deliver the final blow, RYU pulled BALROG from the ring. He then said that this contest was over, and Juiced would wrestle someone else. He stepped into the ring, and the crowd began to cheer for this dream match. But as they circled, SHENG LONG, the Sensei of RYU, hopped on the apron and began to speak privately to RYU. After some arguing, RYU said that he would not face Juiced Lee. But someone else would instead.
8. JUICED LEE wrestled to a draw against ZOMBIE VINNY BUTABI
Sheng Long chose wisely, as Juiced Lee’s fear of Zombie’s is no secret. He tried to battle him for a brief time, but soon he ran from the building with the Zombie chasing behind. The match was thrown out. After not being able to catch the ever swift JUICED LEE, the Zombie Vinny Butabi wandered back in and ripped the arm off an attractive fan in the audience! PARAMEDIC JESS helped the injured girl to the back, and we went to another intermission.

THE DISPLAYED LABORS SIDESHOW. Google it, facebook it, youtube it, do whatever you have to do to see it live. Piercings, staple gun, nails in nostrils, screwdriver in nostril, eating glass, he drank from a tube through her mouth and nose. See it yourself. Words will not do it justice.

Shortly after, SENIOR OFFICIAL WINNIE THE POOH came to the ring, and declared he had a problem. He didn’t like some of the actions that REFEREE PINK PANTHER had been taking, and called him out to the ring. Tense words were shared, and soon an all out brawl was in effect. The locker room cleared and separated the two fuzzy referees, but it was clear that the war between these two had finally erupted. Afterwards, Johnny DRINKO Butabi and ANTHONY BUTABI stayed behind, and shared some important news. JOHNNY DRINKO was not the father of someone’s baby, and they had beef with CAPCOM

RYU, SHENG LONG, BALROG, and CAMMY came out from the back, and told the KNIGHTS OF THE ROXBURY that he had heard enough of their garbage, and it was time for the last scheduled match of the evening.

9. OTIS THE GIMP/JOHNNY DRINKO BUTABI wrestled to a draw against ANTHONY BUTABI/RASTA MYSTERIO
This mismatch of teams was intended to be a cruel joke on the two duos. OTIS THE GIMP and RASTA MYSTERIO have been known to team together on many occasions, and the KNIGHTS OF THE ROXBURY are known to always do everything together. Also interesting, JOHNNY DRINKO BUTABI and RASTA MYSTERIO seemed to have a hatred of each other that may have been building since HOODSLAM 0: The Prequel. The two teams squared off in what can only be called a battle for the ages, but not too long into it THE BANANA made his way to the ring and interrupted the match.

THE BANANA assured everyone that it was not peanut butter jelly time, and that HOODSLAM fighting itself was not what was important right now. What was important was teaming up together to take on CAPCOM and THE DEA! As the five of them assembled in the ring, COMMENTATOR KEVIN GILL nailed it on the head when he said it was a dream team. But it was not meant to be, as JOHNNY DRINKO verbally assaulted RASTA MYSTERIO, and said that he “would NEVER…EEEEEEVVVERRRR… team with Rasta”. ANTHONY BUTABI reluctantly followed suit, saying that he wanted to help HOODSLAM, but couldn’t. “YOU STOLE MY BROTHERS MOVE!” was all he could say as he headed to the locker room.

RYU, BALROG, SHENG LONG, and THE DEA then made their entrance, saying they accepted THE BANANA’s offer for a match, but that it would be with another partner, E. HONDA! As the quintuplet team of terror entered the ring, things looked bleak for OTIS THE GIMP, RASTA MYSTERIO, and THE BANANA. But the Banana said he had planned for this, and had two more members. The first, JUICED LEE! And the second, as the Banana put it, was the man who made the call from the future that warned of CAPCOM taking over. He himself was a CAPCOM character, and had switched sides to assist HOODSLAM!

10. RYU/BALROG/SHENG LONG/E. HONDA/ THE DEA were defeated by OTIS THE GIMP/RASTA MYSTERIO/THE BANANA/JUICED LEE/MEGA MAN
This match had the crowd in frenzy the entire time! The entrance of MEGA MAN into HOODSLAM was an event that nobody who saw will ever be able to forget. The audience literally drowned out the music in awe of this blue bomber from the future. This match was elimination rules, and some were pinned, others counted out, but in the end, OTIS THE GIMP and THE DEA were the last two left standing, much like the first HOODSLAM, Victory: HOODSLAM on April 11th. OTIS THE GIMP was able to secure the victory for HOODSLAM, and the fans cheered on as some drunk guy got beat up to the theme from Terminator.

Thank you again to all the fans, the wrestlers, Patricia Misery, Miss Prick, Displayed Labors Sideshow, Einstye, Victory Warehouse, and everyone else who helped make this the best HOODSLAM yet! The next show is DECEMBER 12TH, 2010 at the VICTORY WAREHOUSE. Not everything has been confirmed, but the following rumors have been going around…

For the right to be SENIOR OFFICIAL of HOODSLAM
WINNIE THE POOH v. PINK PANTHER

The DEA and OTIS the GIMP have decided to settle it once and for all, but the stipulations to the match have not yet been set….

The return of HOODSLAM fan favorite SILENT ASSASIN JEAN-PIERRE

And the biggest rumor of all, the fact that the champion of Street Fighter has not yet been determined for 2010, and a new winner must be crowned…more news to come when available.

HOODSLAM 12/12/10
Victory Warehouse
23rd and San Pablo Avenue
Oakland, CA
6:00 PM, 420 friendly, byobeer
dontbringyourfnkids

myspace.com/oaklandhoodslam, @hoodslam twitter, hoodslam@me.com for any questions, comments, or hate mail

Their was something else at Hoodslam that wasn’t supposed to be talked about it, but can’t be avoided…
At 10/10/10 Hoodslam saw the debut of Sal Lundy. He came quietly, but when he left the Victory Warehouse was full of fans ready to start a riot.

He came calmly, with his son Grand Master G, and the two said some words to the crowd. The boos were deafening. He then loosened up, and got down to business.

SAL LUNDY W/ GRAND MASTER G defeated MS CHIEVOUS
The crowd was happy to see a woman step up to the sexist words of SAL LUNDY and GRAND MASTER G, who had proclaimed that they were both a part of NO MA’AM. Their happiness was short lived, however, as Lundy quickly took over the match and never lost it. After many punishing minutes, SAL LUNDY pinned MsChievous. After the match, the crowd showed its anger. It seemed like the positive energy of the Victory Warehouse was turning incredibly hostile. Fans began to throw garbage at LUNDY and GRAND MASTER G, and a rainstorm of beer cans and plastic bottles showered upon the ring. Extra help had to be pulled from the locker room to keep the angry crowd away from the duo of NO MA’AM as they made their exit.

Worse yet, SAL LUNDY will be back at HOODSLAM 12/12/10…against who is unknown, but one can only hope that history will not repeat itself.

Results

Super HOODSLAM II Turbo: Championship Edition (Aug 22, 2010) Results

Super HOODSLAM II Turbo: Championship Edition
Victory Warehouse, Oakland California
August 22, 2010

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The show opened with a welcome from our commentary team, and a musical performance by Einstye. The fast metal set the tone for an exciting show, and the largest crowd in Hoodslam history was ready for action! The commentary team this evening consisted of the returning Kevin Gill, from the original Hoodslam, and Master Spliffer, who took up the post at Hoodslam 2: Secret of the Booze. Between the two of them, they had seen everything Hoodslam, and their knowledge and expertise shined throughout the event.

1. Super Red Rhino 2010 v. MsChevious
Both were new faces to the Hoodslam crowd, and Super Red Rhino 2010 won them over early by saying some kind things on the microphone. MsChevious also got support, showing no fear in facing her musclebound male opponent. But before things could get underway, Steven Segal returned and had some words for the crowd as well. He stated that not only is an accomplished actor and a world class martial artist, but he is also a licensed professional wrestling referee, and he would officiate this match. It was back and forth, shades of Bruno v. Zybsko, but both combatants continually felt annoyed by the strict officiating of Steven Segal. Before long, they both attacked him, but the expert martial artist countered and left both lying after snapping their necks. He then administered a ten count, and declared this match a draw.
No contest

2. Villano 510 v. El Luchador Magnifico
Hoodslam was proud to bring this long and storied feud to the United States, but before the match could begin, Villano 510 wanted to say some things about his crime family, and his opponent. Halfway through the diatribe, a familiar face came from the back and attacked the luchador. Despite Villano 510 no selling and continuing to be an ass, he was too injured to compete in the match, and it was delayed till later in the event. He eventually left, but his attacker remained in the ring.

The karate gi wearing, red head band adorned attacker got on the microphone, and told everyone that he was indeed RYU from Street Fighter, and that he was disgusted by the blatant infringement taking place at Super Hoodslam II Turbo: Championship Edition. After stating that “You must defeat Sheng Long to stand a chance” he issued an open invite to anyone in the locker room willing to take him on.

The sounds of “What is Love” quickly filled the arena, and the Knights of the Roxbury, Anthony and Johnny “Drinko” Butabi made their way to the ring. Anthony Butabi got in the ring, but declared that he didn’t want to fight Ryu, but extend his hand in friendship. He then began to sing “You’ve got a friend in me” by Randy Newman to the confused Street Fighter as the crowd audibly displayed their disapproval. Ryu rejected his friendship though, and the match was underway.

3. Ryu v. Anthony Butabi
Many were confused how this would take place, and after seeing it, many still are. Ryu was able to counter much of the Knight’s offense with Dragon Uppercuts, and eventually laid him out with an amazing spin spin spin kick. As he posed over the downed Butabi, Johnny Drinko Butabi charged the ring and smashed a bottle over his head, which received a DQ from Referee Pink Panther.
Ryu wins by DQ

Paramedics rushed the scene, but Ryu brushed them off, declaring that “you must defeat Sheng Long to stand a chance” before leaving in a rage. The Butabi’s however, were dismayed that the paramedic would “come to help a non-hoodslam-er, over a hoodslam-er”, and after a bit of arguing, he attacked the young girl and the match was on.

4. Johnny “Drinko” Butabi v. Paramedic Jess
Again, another technical wrestling clinic was put on by a Knight of the Roxbury. After subduing his opponent, Johnny Drinko went for a bottle and began to chug violently before administering a death blow. He over drank however, and left himself open to one of the most lethal moves around, the stunner, and the paramedic picked up the win.
Paramedic Jess wins by Pinfall

As the paramedic celebrated, Anthony Butabi checked on his fallen brother. He was unable to awaken him though, and quickly called for assistance from the paramedic and referee Tobias. When their efforts proved useless, the paramedic called for a stomach pump, and one was quickly rushed to the ring. As the tension grew in the building over the fallen Hoodslammer, the possibility of another Butabi dying in Oakland became more and more real. Suddenly, Drinko nipped up in a surge of energy, and started attacking the Tobias and Paramedic Jess. He then attacked his own brother Anthony Butabi. As the bodies lay in carnage around him, Drinko retrieved the stomach pump, and took the top off. As the fans chanted “chug chug”, the paramedic, Tobias, and his own brother Anthony attempted to talk him out of it, but it was to no avail, as Johnny Drinko Butabi redrank the alcoholic contents that were medically removed from him, and the crowd had to think about what they really just cheered.

At this point, the commentators began to recap all the things they had seen, including mentioning Referee Pink Panther issuing a DQ in Ryu v. Anthony Butabi, something that had never before been done in Hoodslam. The Pink Panther overheard this, came to the commentary booth, and explained in no uncertain terms that he was a wrestling referee, and that bottles, chairs, and other antics have no place in wrestling. He calls it old school, and he calls it down the middle. Pink Panther: stern. stern but fair.

5. El Luchador Magnifico v. Villano 420 (replacing the INJURED Villano 510)
After the vicious beating Villano 510 no sold at the beginning of the show, he came to the back and passed out, having to back out of his match against El Luchador Magnifico. But before he blacked out, he made a call to his relative in the Bay Area, Villano 420, and had him take his place in the match. This contest was back and forth lucha libre action the likes of which the Hoodslam crowd had never seen. After many high flying maneuvers, El Luchador Magnifico was able to pick up the win, and another tally to his side in his long feud against the Villano Crime Family.
El Luchador Magnifico wins by Pinfall

The Hoodslam crowd then watched a belly dancing performance, and a short intermission.

6. Otis the Gimp w/Mistress Lina v. The D.E.A.
Since the first Hoodslam (Victory: Hoodslam, April 11th, 2010) Otis and the D.E.A. have been in an escalating feud with no end in sight. First Otis defeated the D.E.A. rookie. Then he and Rasta Mysterio battled to a draw against the Head of the D.E.A. and CJAY Kurze. On this night, it was one and one, and they were aiming to settle the score. In a match that could never be shown with a NC-17 warning, Otis and the D.E.A. battled it out to the excitement of the Hoodslam crowd. As it seemed that Otis and Mistress Lina had the match won, a fan from the crowd reached out and tripped Otis, allowing the D.E.A. to sneak a quick win.
The D.E.A. wins by Pinfall

After the match, the head of the D.E.A. got on the microphone, and introduced everyone to the fan that interfered. He was indeed a Narc, a plant in the crowd that smoke and drank with all the fans, only to turn his back on them all for the government. Otis then issued a challenge to the D.E.A., the Narc, and anyone else they wanted to bring, against Otis and any friends he would bring, and the winner would get to call the matches at the next Hoodslam. It was agreed, and the main event was set for later in the evening.

As the crowd settled and the commentators talked about the ramifications of what they just heard, Reverend Helfyre and the Zombie Army made their entrance, berating the fans and spitting a green liquid out of their mouths and onto anyone that got close enough. After a few short, brief words from Helfyre, Helfyre talked for another 15 minutes, mostly incoherent ravings from a lunatic that you would expect from the Reverend. His main points, muddled in all the madness, was that Juiced Lee is a coward for not showing to Hoodslam. The man who never ran from a fight won’t even show up to fight something dead. Second, Christina Von Eerie, who was supposed to fight the team with Rasta Mysterio, also no showed, although for very different reasons. He then mentioned that anyone who wanted to willingly become a zombie had their chance now, and those who didn’t would later face the same fate anyway. Rasta Mysterio then made his entrance, not wanting to be a zombie, but ready to fight both Zombies in a handicap match.

7. Rasta Mysterio v. Zombie Sheik Khan Abadi & Zombie Vinny Butabi w/Reverend Helfyre
This match was mayhem. Early on it became apparent that Zombie Sheik felt no pain, and while he can be attacked, he would not stay down long. Soon Zombie Vinny came into the ring too, and the two on one seemed too much for the Rasta warrior. He then busted out a taser, and shocked the Zombie Sheik, sending him into convulsions. In an attempt zap Vinny, he missed, and tased Senior Official Referee Winnie the Pooh. Referee Pink Panther was out next, but Rasta Mysterio willingly tased him when he tried to get him to drop his weapon. Then Master Spliffer from the commentary table said he had this covered, but shortly became intrigued by the taser, and purposely shocked himself. Then Nick, the bass player of Einstye, told Kevin Gill that he’s got this, and ran into the ring. Kevin Gill tried to talk him out of it, but it was too late, and Nick was quickly bitten by Zombie Vinny Butabi. Zombie Sheik Khan Abadi had awaken from the shock at that point, and began attacking fans outside the ring. Kevin Gill left the table, took off his shirt to reveal a Referee shirt, and took on his role he perfected as JCW Senior Official. Amazingly he also continued his commentary skills with a cordless microphone. Rasta Mysterio downed Zombie Vinny, momentarily dropped the Reverend Helfyre, and then powerbombed the Zombie Sheik through a table on the floor. He then quickly made the cover and Referee Kevin Gill counted the three.
Rastya Mysterio wins by Pinfall

After the match, Zombie Vinny and Reverend Helfyre carried the limp body of Zombie Sheik out of the building. Some say the impact of the table knocked the zombie out, while others say the back of his head hit the wall or table, killing his zombie brain entirely. All that is clear is that a zombie had finally stopped moving.

There was another belly dance and intermission, and then the Knights of the Roxbury made their way to the ring.

Drinko enthralled the crowd with deep words of wisdom that all who heard would surely hold in their heart for eternity. He also mentioned the Street Fighters, and had harsh words that may have been every line from after a Street Fighter match ever, including but not limited to: “seeing you in action is a joke”, “handsome fighters never lose battles”, “go home and be a family man”, and many others. Ryu came out to the ring, and told the Knights he had a match for them, but it won’t be two on one, but two on three. He then introduced “the bosses of bosses” Barog and Sagat.

8. The Knights of the Roxbury v. Sagat, Balrog, and Ryu
This match defies words. I recommend that anyone who wants to be a wrestler, is a wrestler, or likes America watches this match on youtube or any future hoodslam dvds. It defines an industry. The heavens opened up and their gift to wrestling was the Street Fighters v. The Knights of the Roxbury. In the heat of battle, Kevin Gill said what the world was thinking: “This is real”. In the end, the street fighters won.
Street Fighters win by Referee Pink Panther’s decision

Ryu got on the mic, and stated that you must defeat Sheng Long to stand a chance, and that he had heard the challenge earlier from Otis, and they would offer their friendship and services to the D.E.A. in the main event. The D.E.A. and the Narc came to the ring, and the five of them filled the ring. Otis the Gimp made his entrance with Rasta Mysterio and the Banana, and the lines were drawn. Just as the match was to start, Referee Pink Panther stated that in the interest of fairness, this matches ramifications are too big to be left to just those in the ring. So all Hoodslammers are now eligible in this match, and this match is a battle royal.

9. Battle Royal for control of next Hoodslam
This match was insanity as the Knights of the Roxbury, the Street fighters, the Zombie Butabi, the D.E.A., the Narc, Otis the Gimp, Rasta Mysterio, the Banana, and others filled the ring. In the end, it came down to the same 5 on 3, and it looked like the Hoodslammers had lost hope. But then the doors swung open, and the man from the corner made his way to the ring. To those unclear, the man in the corner has sat above the crowd in the same spot at every hoodslam. He sat alone, in dark clothes, with dark glasses, and never reacted to anything he saw. But on this day he came down, and entered the battle royal. The Hoodslammers thought they were saved, but then the man in the corner brutally attacked Rasta, Otis, and The Banana, eliminating all from the battle royal. The Street Fighters and the D.E.A. were declared the winner by referee Pink Panther.
D.E.A. and Street Fighters win control of Hoodslam

After the match, Ryu and the Street Fighters thanked the man in the corner, and introduced him to the crowd as SHENG LONG! The Street Fighters thanked their mentor, and the D.E.A. declared that at October 10, 2010, at the Victory Warehouse the show would be HOODSLAM V. CAPCOM 2: F### THE FANS ALPHA! And at this show, the D.E.A. and the Street Fighters will be running the show!

HOODSLAM V. CAPCOM 2: FTF ALPHA
Sunday October 10, 2010
Victory Warehouse, Oakland CA
6:00 PM

2010Results

Hoodslam 2: Secret of the Booze (June 13, 2010) Results

We would like to thank the small but lively crowd that joined is in Oakland, California June 13th for HOODSLAM II – THE SECRET OF THE BOOZE. The show started at about 6:30 at the VICTORY WAREHOUSE on 24th St and San Pablo Ave, Oakland CA. Ike Emelio Burner resumed his role as Official HOODSLAM Ring Anouncer, and commentary was done by Master Spliffer and Matt Leplaca! Before the wrestling action Einstye rocked the crowd, and after introducing our referees Peck Woods, El Sparko, and Tobias, HOODSLAM began!

However, before it could truly begin, something had to be done. Ike Emelio Burner informed the crowd of some of the events of the last show, most prominently detailing what took place in regards to the death of Vinny Butabi. After a tag match involving his brothers, The Knights of the Roxbury, Vinny had his heart ripped out of his chest by Juiced Lee. To make matters worse, his dead body was then stolen by Reverend Helfyre. Ike Burner invited the remaining Knights, Anthony Butabi and Johnny “Drinko” Butabi to the ring, so they could hold a funeral for their fallen brother. They shared with the crowd many touching words, many of them offensive and slurred. They sent a shout out to Vinny’s girlfriend Mandy. Johnny “Drinko” even sang an acapella version of “Dust in the Wind” that brought many of the crowd to the point of tears. He also got a surprising amount of the words right. Then Nixxi came to the center of the ring to sing a song that she had written in tribute to the late Vinny Butabi. But before she could start, Reverend Helfyre slid into the ring and clotheslined her in the back of the head! He and the Butabi’s got into a verbal argument about the possession of Vinny’s dead body, which led to an agreement. If the Knights of the Roxbury could beat him in a tag match, he would return the body. Helfyre went backstage to get his partner. He returned carrying his partner to the ring, the deceased body of Vinny Butabi! After dancing around the dead body like a puppet for a few minutes, he threw the limp corpse onto the apron, slumped him over the top rope, and then after tying his arms to the top ropes to keep him from falling, the match was underway.

Helfyre/Vinny Butani’s dead body b. The Knights of the Roxbury (Johnny “Drinko” and Anthony Butabi) –
What took place cannot be described. It was truly a classic, a real tribute to the sport. All the greats would have been proud to see it, from Gotch to Thesz, Hackenschmidt to Jannetty. Halfway through the match, Helfyre gained the upperhand and mysteriously tagged in the dead body, tossing the limp carcass into a heap in the ring. The brothers rejoiced at having the body for their funeral, and “What is Love” rang throughout Oakland once again! Something strange happened then, as the body began to move, and then even dance!…sorta. But thats not all, it could also bite! The reanimated corpse of Vinny Butabi attempted to take chunks out of his own brothers, but they were able to narrowly avoid becoming lunch! In the end, Helfyre pinned Johnny Drinko with the top rope two fingers of terror. Thankfully, Helfyre dragged his monster to the back before any harm could be done, but what has he unleashed upon HOODSLAM?!

 

Blazer Blaze b. Silent Assassin Jean-Pierre
Blazer Blaze is a newcomer to HOODSLAM, hailing from Gladiator Arena! Before the match could start, an official Gladiator Official had to bring a series of items to the ring. They included a tackle pad, a q-tip shaped beat stick, and an assortment of projectile weapons. Blazer Blaze challenged anyone in the building to take on the Gladiator Challenge. Some crackhead off San Pablo Ave ran into the ring, but was quickly removed, and a real challenge hit the scene! HOODSLAM favorite Jean-Pierre, the Mime from Montreal, silently accepted, and after wooing the crowd with his mimery, the challenge was underway! Again, words cannot describe the level of competition that took place. Both men gave it their all, but after shattering the glass box, Blazer Blaze was able to secure the win, and return to Gladiator Arena victorious!

At this point the crowd participated in a drinking game known as The Six Pack Tag Team Challenge. Two teams of two raced to see who could finish their respective six pack first. A somehow even drunker Knights of the Roxbury hosted the event, and as always at HOODSLAM, the real winners are the fans.

Around here, things got weird. Peanut Butter Jelly Time blared over the arena and a giant banana began running around the ring, dancing on anything and everything, including Ike Burner. After a few moments, the music changed to a more familiar tune of Brass Monkey, and Tokey the Laid-back Gorilla came to the ring, and he had his eyes on the banana! After chasing him around the ring and a brief altercation, the banana was cornered! But out of nowhere he pulled out a baseball bat and began laying it into Tokey! But help was on the way, as the Straight Edge Gorilla Minor Threat the save, and the two gorillas started dazzling the crowd with double team moves on the banana! Just as things were going their way, the music changed again, and two more newcomers to HOODSLAM issued a challenge to the gorillas.

The Stoner Brothers (Rick and Scott Stoner) b. The Pro Wrestling Gorillas (Minor Threat and Tokey the Laid-back Gorilla)
This match was tag team action at its finest. It was back and forth action, but the turning point must have been when Tokey was being tortured in a camel clutch. Minor Threat ran into the ring, but instead of making the save began imitate what he saw. The Stoner Brothers were able to get the win after a gorilla press to a knee, but one would think that his rivalry has only just begun.

Christina Von Eerie b. Sheik Khan Abadi
This match was intense, but Christina was able to decisively defeat the Sheik and pin him for the three count. Afterwords, Sheik got on the microphone and told those in the crowd that this was Christina’s last match in the USA before going on tour with AAA in Mexico. He said that he was honored to wrestle her last, and the crowd clapped for Christina and cheered her name. After hugging, the Sheik said he had one more thing to say. “You stupid f*****g b***h.” He began to assault her and whine that it was him who had been in the business longer, and him that deserved a contract, and that it was “bulls**t” that she was going anywhere because she didn’t deserve anything. After throwing her out of the ring, he turned to face the angry crowd. Just then, Helfyre and Zombie Vinny Butabi hit the ring, and the Sheik was bit by Butabi! As he faded away, Helfyre threw him over his shoulder, and carried Sheik and Zombie Vinny off.

Juiced Lee Open Invitational
Juiced Lee had sent an open invite to all challengers, and he swore to defeat them all. First, he defeated the Giant Banana, KOing him in minutes. Then, he pulled the spin out of Uno bit by bit. Next the Stoner Brothers challenged him at the same time, and he devastated both with double two inch punches that sent them sailing. As he set readied himself to finish them, Steven Segall hit the ring, and snapped both their necks. Referee Peck Woods tried to interject, but he then had his neck snapped as well. He got on the mic, and informed the crowd that he was not an actor, he was an officer of the law for many years. And that what he did was REAL karate. As the two face off and began to have a “Real Martial Arts Battle” Helfyre and Zombie Vinny hit the ring again! The two were able to fight them off, but neither saw Zombie Sheik sneak up behind Steven Segall and take a chunk out of the back of his neck! Juiced Lee for once in his life looked startled and left the ring as Reverend Helfyre, Zombie Vinny, and Zombie Sheik made off with Steven Segall’s body.

At this point another drinking game was held, the 4 corner challenge! It was hosted by two HOODSLAM favorites Otis the Gimp and Rasta Mysterio! It was going along smoothly, but it was interrupted by Nor Cal Wrestling Legend CJAY Kurze! He explained that he’d been in this business a long time, and thought that what he’d seen tonight was the absolute worst. He said the wrestling was garbage, the drug abuse was rampant, and everything about it was disrespectful to the business. He said that he sided with the .E.A. and had accepted a deal to partner up with them against Otis and Rasta in the main event! The head of the D.E.A. came to the ring, and once Main Event Special Guest Referee Winnie the Pooh had made his way to the ring, the Main Event was underway!

Otis the Gimp/Rasta Mysterio went to a no contest with D.E.A./CJAY Kurze
This match was wild and out of control from the start. It was a brawl of epic proportions, that even saw Referee Winnie the Pooh accidentally get hit and go down hard! Though there was no official winner, at the end Rasta Mysterio and Otis the Gimp stood tall, and forced the D.E.A. agent to smoke against his will with the use of a gas mask bong!

Much happened HOODSLAM II – SECRET OF THE BOOZE, and we would like to thank those that showed to support the event. However, its very clear that not many people saw it, and because of this we’ve come up with something special. For our next event, August 22nd at the Victory Warehouse in Oakland, CA we present SUPER HOODSLAM II TURBO: CHAMPIONSHIP EDITION. We hope that you can make it, and would like to thank everyone who helped with this event. Stay tuned here, at myspace.com/oaklandhoodslam, and get ready for many more ways to experience HOODSLAM on the net!

SUPER HOODSLAM II TURBO: CHAMPIONSHIP EDITION
August 22nd, 6:00 PM
24th St and San Pablo Ave, Oakland CA
MATCHES AND EVENTS TO BE ANNOUNCED SOON!

myspace.com/oaklandhoodslam

2010Results

Victory: HOODSLAM! (April 11, 2010) Results

April 11, 2010
24th and San Pablo, Oakland CA at the Victory Warehouse

About 70-80 people turned up for this admission free show. The band “Einstye” entertained the crowd before, during, and after the entire event. The show opened with ring announcer Ike “Emelio” Burner thanking the crowd for attending, and introducing the Hoodslam staff – Commentators Kevin Gill and Lars Frederickson, Head Referee Tobias, and Special Guest Nixxi, who arrived to perform the national anthem. Before she could start though, Sheik Khan Abadi bum rushed the ring and clotheslined her in the back of the head. He then began a tirade against the crowd, saying that he thought the promoter of this show was an idiot, and that was planned for tonight was an insult to professional wrestling. He went on to say that only Americans would infuse so much drugs and alcohol into wrestling, and that as a real athlete from Iran he was disgusted. He demanded his opponent come to the ring right then, so that he could finish his match and leave as quickly as possible.

1. Juiced Lee d. Sheik Khan Abadi
– This match had great high flying, fast paced action. The fury and anger of the Sheik was no match though, as Juiced Lee made short work of him, defeating him with a Dragon Uppercut followed by the BRAINBUSTAH! As the Sheik left, he swore he would return and get the last laugh.

2. Reverend Helfyre d. Silent Assassin Jean-Pierre
Before the match Jean-Pierre, the number one Mime in professional wrestling today, amused the crowd by walking down the invisible stairs and narrowly avoiding suffocation with the invisible rope, but came up just short of the Reverend after being pulled off the top rope with his own invisible lasso. If fan reaction is any indicator, Jean Pierre will so be silently thrilling crowds again in the near future.

3. Vinny Butabi w/Anthony and Johnny Butabi (The Knights of the Roxbury) d. La Generica
The Butabi brothers were in full force tonight, smoking blunts and polishing off a bottle of ancient age whiskey on the way to the ring. La Generica, as the commentary supports, is one of the few luchadores to also perform in the donkey show. After finally deciding who would compete against her, Vinny used his strength to outmatch the confused young girl in the ring. With outside assistance from his brothers, Vinny was able to pick up the win with a earth shattering heart punch.

After the match, the Butabi’s decided to once again dance to the beat of “What is Love” and celebrated with more blunts and whiskey. Their celebration was cutshort however, as they were interrupted by one of the most popular teams in Hoodslam’s deep history, Rasta Mysterio and Tokey the Laid Back Gorilla.

4. Tokey the Laid Back Gorilla and Rasta Mysterio d. The Knights of the Roxbury
Anthony and Johnny stepped up in this bout, however they refused to relinquish their bottle of whiskey while in the ring. Rasta and Tokey themselves smoked a few fatties before handing them off to the eager crowd. This match was a mat classic and a true clinic of wrestling psychology that any fan or veteran could appreciate. Despite massive amounts of head butts, nerve holds, and snap mares, Tokey and the half Jamaican Mysterio were able to pull off the victory.

After the match, Rasta and Tokey decided to do their usual post match ritual, and celebrated with another adult cigar. However, they were sneak attacked by the D.E.A., who had been anonymously tipped off to the activities going on in the Victory Warehouse that evening. In the carnage that ensued, Tokey was able to make an escape, but the three agents were able to subdue and cuff Rasta. They then told the angered crowd that after dropping off Rasta, they would return for anyone else still in the building.

As the D.E.A. left, the Knights of the Roxbury had finally composed themselves, and decided once more that it was time to dance. “What is Love” blared over the PA for the fourth time this evening, and somebody had finally had enough. Juiced Lee returned to the ring, and quickly dispatched of both Johnny and Anthony in the ring. Vinny attempted to sneak up on the angry dragon, but he saw him coming, and blinded him with a mist. As Vinny swayed, Juiced Lee dug deep, and then dug deeper, and removed the beating heart from the chest of Vinny Butabi, much to the delight of the crowd, and finally stopped the music. As he departed, the Reverend Helfyre re-emerged, and stole the now lifeless body of Vinny Butabi, for reasons yet to be made clear.

Einstye once again entertained the crowd as only they could. Halfway through the set, the D.E.A. returned and bum rushed the stage the band played on, and said that they wanted to finish off Hoodslam for good. They insulted the crowd, calling them scumbags amongst other things, and issued a challenge to who they called the biggest scumbag of them all. The challenge was answered, and was Hoodslam’s main event-

5. Otis the Gimp (w/Dolly v3.0) d. D.E.A. Rookie agent
As the challenge was issued, the leader of the DEA sent they’re rookie member to take on Otis and his inflatable sheep Dolly (version 3.0). Although the Rookie was big, Otis was bigger, and after a match that kept the crowd on its feet (there were no chairs, but not the point) Otis the Gimp finished off the rookie with the “Deep Throat Chokeslam”.

After the match, the other two DEA members attempted to attack Otis, but he fought them off. As he had his back turned, Sheik Khan Abadi was able to slither into the ring and hit a devestating low blow that brought the submissive giant to his knees. He and the DEA began to set up a table to put Otis through, but Tokey the Laid Back Gorilla returned for revenge on the DEA! And he brought his friend, another gorilla who has now been revealed as Minor Threat! They fought the DEA away from the ring, giving Otis time to turn the tables on Sheik Khan, and then smash him through it.

Hoodslam would like to thank all the fans who came to this event and made it so great

2011Results

SO I MARRIED A HOODSLAMMER: PREGNANT TEEN SUMMERFEST 2011 (Aug 5, 2011) Results

(1) Juiced Lee beat Villano 420 in a Battle Royal of Supremacy Qualifying match

(2) Mega Man beat Grandmaster G in a Battle Royal of Supremacy Qualifying match

(3) Dark Sheik & Zombie Vinny Butabi beat El Chupacabra & Dead Hippie Dude in a Battle Royal of Supremacy Qualifying match

(4) Crocodile Hunter & E. Hondo & Stony Montana beat Lucha Magnifico & Super Red Rhino 2099 & Prawn Cena in a Battle Royal of Supremacy Qualifying match

(5) Mr. Hoodslam II beat Super Tiger in a Battle Royal of Supremacy Qualifying match

(6) Rasta Mysterio beat Anthony Butabi in a Battle Royal of Supremacy Qualifying match

(7) The Dark Sheik won the Battle Royal of Supremacy

2011Results

I know what you did last HOODSLAM (April 8, 2011) Results

By Sean Radican

(1) Chicano Flame beat Jeckles the Jester

(2) Prawn Cena & Mr. Hoodslam II beat Crocodile Hunter & Super Red Rhino 2099 in a Jeff Hardy Memorial Lethal Lottery Battlebowl Tournament match

(3) E. Honda & Otis the Gimp beat Gotha the Bi-Polar Clown & Super Tiger in a Jeff Hardy Memorial Lethal Lottery Battlebowl Tournament match

(4) Kassy Summers & El Chupacabra beat Zombie Vinny Butabi & Mega Man in a Jeff Hardy Memorial Lethal Lottery Battlebowl Tournament match

(5) Miss Bratt beat Sal Lundy (w/Grand Master G)

(6) Lucha Magnifico & Rick Scott Stoner (w/ Scott Rick Stoner & Villano 420) beat Juiced Lee & Invisible Charlie Chaplin Jeff Hardy Memorial Lethal Lottery Battlebowl Tournament match

(7) Rasta Mysterio beat Johnny Drinko Butabi in a Mask vs. Career match

(8) Caitlin Gill beat Johnny Drinko Butabi

(9) Lucha Magnifco eliminated Otis the Gimp to win the Jeff Hardy Memorial Lethal Lottery Battlebowl Tournament